Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He does earth-downs.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper. The problem... it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck has more money than you do.
Chuck Norris can light a fire. Under water.
Chuck Norris vacationed in the Virgin Islands. It's now just the Islands.
When God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said "Say please"
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris never sleeps, he waits.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
Chuck Norris had sex with a guy, not because he was gay, but because he ran out of women
Chuck Norris went up to Heaven and tapped God on the shoulder and said, "You are in my seat."
The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.