Your War Stories

[wige]

I got this idea from a post in another thread, and I have a feeling you all might have some good stories to tell.

As many of us work with clients and customers of varying levels of familiarity with computers and technology, I am sure many of you have had funny or interesting conversations with those clients/customers... have any to share?

I used to work in tech support, for one of the largest consumer electronics companies in the United States, so I have heard a lot... and no, "the cupholder on my computer is broken!" is not an urban myth, it has happened. More than once.

I once got a call from a client who reported that her computer was not working.

Me: What is the model number of the product?
Customer: Where would I find that?
Me: What type of product is it?
Customer: A computer.
Me: It is on the front of the computer, right above the power button.
Customer: There is nothing printed above the power button.
Me: are you sure it's one of our computers?
Customer: Yes. It says makername right on the front.
Me: And makername is printed right above the power button?
Customer: Yes...
Me: The model number is between the word makername and the power button.
Customer: There is nothing printed below makername...
Me: It starts with PC...
Customer: Oh! Here it is, I found it! PC-123. Why didn't you just say it was under the word makername?
Me: Ok, and what is the problem you are having?
Customer: There is an error message on the screen.
Me: And what is the error?
Customer: How would I know that?
Me: The error would be the message on the screen.
Customer: Right. So what do I do?
Me: Tell me exactly what the error message says.
Customer: It says FATAL ERROR
Me: Does it say anything else on the screen?
Customer: No, I boot the computer, and it says FATAL ERROR, the rest of the screen is blank.
--- We try a few reboots, etc., keep getting the same weird error message - in all about 15 minutes of troubleshooting ---
Me: I'll admit, I have never seen or heard of that particular message ever before. Could you read me the model number again?
Customer: It says makername PC-123
Me: Could you hold for one moment?
-- Asked every supervisor and tech I could find if they had ever heard of "FATAL ERROR" message on bootup, nope. A supervisor joins me on the line, to try to find the cause of the issue, along with several very curious techs. Now 20 minutes into the call. --
Me: Sorry for the delay. I have a supervisor who is coming on the line to help troubleshoot this issue. Just to double check, could you read the model number off the front of the machine again?
Customer: For the fifth time, the model number is makername PC-123, why do you keep asking?
Me: Just making sure. And this is the model number that is printed on the front of the machine?
Customer: YES! Right on the front, right here, makername PC-123
Me: Ok...
Voice in the background, on the customer's end: Honey, makername is not spelled m-a-c-i-n-t-o-s-h

[PAUL-B]

A bit long-winded...