Da Joke Thread...

[briguy]

Heard a great defintion of procrastination...maybe I post it tomorrow.

I have read a few of the jokes some of them are pretty funny, tomorrow will be my time to tell one.

Ahhh another definition of procrstination...

here is one
A Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in their local doggie bar having a few cold ones when a good-looking female French Poodle walk in the bar and walks up to them and says,

"Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."

The French Poodle says, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."

She says, "That's not creative."

Finally the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone...cheese mine!"

(taken from http://www.squidoo.com/dog-jokes )

[dharrison]

Apparently despite working with him, Chewbacca couldn't stand the sight of Han Solo: Despised the very ground he walked on. Its all been revealed on Wookiee-leaks!!

[briguy]

My little contribution
(Q) What do you call a Fish with no "eyes"
(A) FSH!

[alphaomega]

Son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

[liliana7]

A beautiful woman gets on a somewhat crowded bus, and she notices that the gentleman in front of her is checking her out. The woman stares at him, for a couple of seconds and then asks him in a very annoyed voice. "Sir, do you want something from me?" The guy's face turns red and he shamefully says. "No, no. I'm sorry!". The woman replies: "Well, then get out of the way, because maybe the gentleman behind you does.

[sanjay0123]

I never let my best friend do stupid things … alone.

[pol_bishop25]

Little boy to his father:
-Dad, how I've come to this world?
The father responds:
-The stork brought you, son.
-Wow, dad. You screw everything.

[stellamarch16]

Here's a rib tickling joke that might just make your day:

A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”

The doctor replied, “Show me.”

So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.

She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”