Canadian Temperature Guide
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Italian cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down.
32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
American water freezes.
Canadian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Ottawa canal opens for skating.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get grumpy when they can't thaw the keg.
-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero: all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying, "Cold, eh?".
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup.