Why are you always right?

[deepsand]

My ex-wife would not infrequently lament "Why are you always right?" with my response being that the secret lay in not being wrong, which could be had by way of not guessing re. matters of fact, a lesson well learned as a Plebe at USNA.

There, if asked a factual question for which one did not have an answer the correctness of which he was certain of, the only acceptable response was "I'll find out, Sir."

If one guessed, and was found out, the following ritualistic exchange would inevitably ensue.

Upperclassman

Why did you guess, Mister

Plebe

Sir, since I have neither diligently labored nor brought forth pale and glimmering beads of perspiration upon my blanched and pallid brow, I find myself in this inexcusable position of complete and utter ignorance which I now attempt to elucidate. Having but meager knowledge of the question concerned, and acting on the erroneous assumption that my lettered interrogator might not recognize the rank inaccuracy of my attempt, acting more on woman's intuition than on a midshipman's erudition, and seizing blindly on the abstruse possibility that my futile rumblings might prove correct - I guessed, sir!

[C0ldf1re]

My ex-wife would not infrequently lament "Why are you always right?"...

Alas and alack that such a noble man should have a lady wife who did not appreciate his qualities. Why could the lady not exclaim, "My dearest husband is always right, and I am thrice-blessed among womenfolk"?

I expect that you had the same problem as experienced by others among us. "She has gorgeous legs. My brain has gone into meltdown. I am unable to recognise the fact that she has a brain the size of a peanut. Nor can I envisage that this may occasion a few subsequent problems regarding compatability."

Sir, since I have neither diligently labored nor brought forth pale and glimmering beads of perspiration upon my blanched and pallid brow, I find myself in this inexcusable position of complete and utter ignorance which I now attempt to elucidate. Having but meager knowledge of the question concerned, and acting on the erroneous assumption that my lettered interrogator might not recognize the rank inaccuracy of my attempt, acting more on woman's intuition than on a midshipman's erudition, and seizing blindly on the abstruse possibility that my futile rumblings might prove correct - I guessed, sir!

Did you have to get it word-perfect?

[deepsand]

I expect that you had the same problem as experienced by others among us. "She has gorgeous legs. My brain has gone into meltdown. I am unable to recognise the fact that she has a brain the size of a peanut. Nor can I envisage that this may occasion a few subsequent problems regarding compatability."

The lady in question is quite intelligent and capable of rationality; however, she lacked the disposition for independently researching that which did not greatly pique her personal interest, choosing instead to rely on me for such, resulting in clashes when my findings did not well comport with her desired conclusion.

Did you have to get it word-perfect?

Being forced to perfectly memorize stuff like that under penalty of unspeakable horrors leaves an indelible impression.


BTW, I understand - cannot verify for lack of a current copy of Reef Points - that, so as to accommodate the entry of female Midshipmen, "woman's intuition" has been changed to "a civilian's intuition." Just doesn't carry the same force of meaning.

[C0ldf1re]

The lady in question is quite intelligent and capable of rationality...

Please tell me that she has an unmarried daughter. Such a paragon of femalehood must be mine. I must breed with her. (Translated into woman-speak, say that I am helplessly in love and adore her.)

... so as to accommodate the entry of female Midshipmen...

I am still not convinced that women on board warships are a good idea. Jealousy in peace, and horror in war.

[deepsand]

Please tell me that she has an unmarried daughter.

Her daughter shares none of her desirable qualities, intellectual or physical.

I am still not convinced that women on board warships are a good idea. Jealousy in peace, and horror in war.

Seems to be working well for surface craft. However, I do have serious reservations re. the decision to deploy them abroad submarines, where one cannot transfer troublesome personnel at will.

[deepsand]

Check out our new digs.

[weegillis]

It was my wife's idea...

[deepsand]

That figures. Funny how women have no problem joking about you with their friends in your presence, and then claim that they're "laughing with you, not at you," but have a fit if you do the same.

[weegillis]

We make more points being there when doing things their way doesn't work out. It may cost, but they might take more heed next time, and we are happier for not having an 'I told you so' moment at exactly the wrong time.

[deepsand]

That's if you don't get the "But, I did it just like you said to." excuse.