Re-inventing Excitement in a small town

[wenwilder]

Instead of painting a fence (or house) BEFORE you start watching the paint dry, try watching the paint dry and THEN paint the fence.

In a one horse town, create the first organically driven vehicle: Put roller skates on the horses hooves. (Just remember to PULL and not PUSH start!)

For those who have the distinct pleasure of being able to watch a Ford rust in their own backyard, try an up-beat change of pace by watching your neighbors Chevy rust. They rust at a much faster rate and have been known to provide interesting accoustics when knocked on.

On the rare occassion that your city cousin comes to visit always volunteer to take them snipe hunting. This will increase the bonding experience in your family. However, remember that timing is everything! Begin intoxication procedures only AFTER rescue procedures have been implemented. Searching for a good family photo of your city cousin, for the missing person's report, is not to be considered the start of a new family tradition.

Cow tipping is also a must for 'the city cousin' to experience, but by adding a new twist you can increase the 're-tell' ability. Make it a challange. Inform the city cousin that while the cows enjoy this event, they prefer to be carefully lowered to the ground, the secret is: Once you know the cow is 'tipping' over you must run around to the other side and carefully place yourself between the cow and the ground. Also, remember NOT to specify which is a cow and which is a bull, this makes for a very entertaining evening.

Next week, we'll discuss watching grass grow and catching walking corn stalks! The fun just never ends in a small town. :)



P.S. If you couldn't tell, I live in Nebraska, the home of cows, corn, and cowboys. But SsssssssssHhhhhhhhhh don't tell anyone! ;)

[Greyhawk]

Soooo much excitement!!! But for those that find all that far to much to deal with try watching Canada's Rugby team play stugby (STUpid ruGBY).

Wenalso something that we do here in the thriving metropolis of Tofino (pop 1400 approx) Watching the forest grow, watching the leaves change colour, and for a real thrilling time we count the days until tuorist season.

To fight insomnia we listen to country music.

Greyhawk

[minstrel]

To fight insomnia we listen to country music.

:-) I like that... country music or jazz... and to interrupt tranquility (or indeed pretty much any positive feeling), there's always listening to RAP (note: there is no "music" after RAP... or in RAP, for that matter).

[Greyhawk]

(note: there is no "music" after RAP... or in RAP, for that matter).

I think they forgot to add thr C to rap, Country Music is an OXYMORON

Greyhawk

[wenwilder]

My brother is an OXYMORON too, but we try not to draw attention to it. ;)

[minstrel]

My brother is an OXYMORON too, but we try not to draw attention to it. ;)

I take it he doesn't know about WebProWorld or what you say about him here... :-)

Was he always that way? or was that only after he got caught under the beast during cow-tipping?

[paulhiles]

Seems as though some places are just dead set against anyone having too much excitement.
Consider the case of Sun Prairie, Wisconsin where the folowing statute is in place:
Persons may not ride a bicycle with their hands off the handlebars.
Source: Dumb Laws (http://www.dumblaws.com/states/states.php?State=Wisconsin)

Paul

[wenwilder]

Real warnings found on real items:

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Fire Extinguisher
Caution: Non-Flamable

Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Diving Board
All divers must land in water!

Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.

On Rear of Big Rig, San Fransisco, CA
Warning! Do not attempt to drive under, over, or through this truck. If you should choose to ignore this warning, good luck and have fun! Do not pass on right side.

Christmas Star - Outdoor Icicle Lights
For indoor use only.

Yamaha Banshee 4-wheeler (One of fastest sport ATVs on market)
Warning: Do not operate at high or excessive speeds.

Fender Guitar
Made in America. Parts from Japan. Assembled in Mexico.

RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe

Unknown Car Fanbelt
Before installing this fanbelt, be sure you shut off the engine as it may cause irreversable injury

Yamaha 4-Wheeler
Warning: Do no operate vehicle on road, a collision may occur with another vehicle. (does this apply to cars as well?)

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Blow Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

Life holds laughter at every turn, but sometimes you just have to stop and ask WHY? :)

[minstrel]

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

On a mattress? where was this mattress sold exactly?


Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.


Now these ones are important... (1) some matches don't work very well - evidently, these ones are NOT guaranteed; and (2) I once sprayed WD40 in one of my eyes while trying to aim at a cable on my car...


Fender Guitar
Made in America. Parts from Japan. Assembled in Mexico.

Played in Canada? :-)



RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe


Oh, great! NOW they tell me...

[fridays in the bróg]

Found on American Airlines dry roasted peanuts
"may contain nuts"

John

[vfaulkner]

This is my town!!
It WAS a GREAT GAME!!! BTW!!!!

"...After the game, West Virginia fans stormed the field, but police
used pepper spray to stop them from tearing down the goalposts.
During the game, however, the fans helped tear down Virginia
Tech's offense.

"I thought our fans did a good job when Tech had the ball,"
Rodriguez said. "It seemed their cadence was off the whole game
and our fans had something to do with that."

A light rain helped to douse the threat of bonfires, which have
become something of a ritual on West Virginia's campus after big
victories..." from USA Today (http://www.usatoday.com/sports/scores103/103295/20031022NCAAFWESTVIR---0.htm) article 10/23/03.

(NOTE: I WAS THERE BUT WAS NOT ONE TO RUSH THE FIELD. I JUST WATCHED...)

Other related articles...
http://www.startribune.com/stories/484/4170834.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=WVU+football+fires

[Steven Glover]

OMFG! That is beyond funny. I laughed so hard I almost had a non work related accident.



[quote=wenwilder]Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

On a mattress? where was this mattress sold exactly?

[

[rocky1]

Hey Wen,

Where did you find all these goodies anyhow, I have contemplated a page containing exactly this sort of thing on my web site, "RTFI.US", given the more common utilization of said acronym in relation to reading instructions.

I figure there has to be an absolutely endless supply of such nonsense out there in the world, the material would be endless for such a page. There are entire staffs paid all over the world to dream up such stupidity on a daily basis, and they'd be helping write my site for the cost of a tube of toothpaste!! LOL

Rocky

[wenwilder]

Hey Wen,

Where did you find all these goodies....

Rocky

In the beginning there was.....oh wait that's another story....the initial thread starter, painting with dry paint, was another one of my late night 'I've thought to much today to care if I make any sense' ramblings to my brother in Canada who made the mistake of asking me: "What did you do for excitement this weekend?" You would think after knowing me all these years he wouldn't ask me questions like that. :)

As for the "Real Warnings" part, that comes from dumblaws.com. Paul was nice enough to post the link in his post. It's a great site, one of my favorites, and I'm glad to see I'm not alone on that thought. I've noticed that Paul knows a few really entertaining sites. I wonder if we could convince him to share more than just one at a time? :)

I love the weird, wild and wacky as well as the seriously strange.

Rocky if you ever do create a site with such nonsense as this on it, you can bet I'd be there often! ;)

[mikmik]

I just came across this tidbit - seems that yesterday, Oct. 30, 2003 was the 11th anniversary of this: 1992, Worlds ugliest pick-up truck parade occurs, in Chadron, NE.

Do you remember to celebrate, wen?

(Wen? - Yesterday of course!) [o;

[rocky1]

It's coming Wen, just give me time!

Rocky

[minstrel]

Halloween trivia: Evidentally the word 'witch' is derived from 'Wicca' and means "wise one".

No, actually, I pretty sure "wicca" is derived from plant materials and means "type of basket or chair".

[paulhiles]

No, actually, I pretty sure "wicca" is derived from plant materials and means "type of basket or chair".
LOL! Nice one minstrel, I also came across a source that differs from mikmik's findings.

Flinders University (http://www.flinders.edu.au/) in Southern Australia, has a flourishing Pagan Association, and their website (http://www.flindersclubs.asn.au/pagan/paganism/witchorigin.html) provides a different source for the origin of the word witch.


According to Professor Russel, from the University of California, the ultimate origin of the word witch is an Indo-European word Weik.
Hadn't realised that paganism was still so prevalent! :c)

Paul

[mikmik]

I'll take both your explanations over mine. I certainly wasn't intending to be complimenting my ex.

[wenwilder]

The celts settled in Britain and taught the concept of reincarnation. Their religious leaders, the Druids, were Solar oriented, and major emphasis in worship was placed upon a god. As the Celts and Picts interrelated and intermarried, the God and Goddess became equally adored. From this union evolved traditions which, in a reconstructed form, are today known as Wicca. There are other reconstructions which go back to other areas of Europe, especially Norse-Germanic and Italian traditions. :)

[Greyhawk]

The celts settled in Britain and taught the concept of reincarnation. Their religious leaders, the Druids, were Solar oriented, and major emphasis in worship was placed upon a god. As the Celts and Picts interrelated and intermarried, the God and Goddess became equally adored. From this union evolved traditions which, in a reconstructed form, are today known as Wicca. There are other reconstructions which go back to other areas of Europe, especially Norse-Germanic and Italian traditions. :)

Thanks Wen I am Wiccan and appreciate the research you and others have done on this subject. On a side note the term WARLOCK does not mean a male witch (blame Hollywood for that one). It is an old Gaelic term meaning oathbreaker. Also the Pentacle (5 pointed star) Is not demonic, but each point represents the four elements of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, with the fifth point being the spirit coming together to form a complete equal being, the circle around the star symbolizes the circle of knowlage and eternity, with no beginning and no end.

As we witches ofetn say to one another Brightest Blessings to all. Blessed be.

Greyhawk
( I hope that doesn't sound preachy)

[paulhiles]

Returning to the original subject of this thread...

On a sleepy Saturday in Sheboygan, Wisconsin... a 7-year-old boy had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith after crawling into a supermarket's stuffed animal game machine while his father talked on the telephone.

"He was sitting right in there with the stuffed animals," said Shift Commander Mark Zittel of the Sheboygan Fire Department.

http://www.chippewa.com/content/articles/2004/01/04/news/news3.jpg

Full article (http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2004/01/04/news/news3.txt)