Looking for love... [Archive]

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 06:54 AM

Funky, junky, spunky monkey looking for BIG & hairy female. Must be experimental and up for a foursome with the baboons that live next door. I'm original in that I actually prefer vodka to bananas and include it as a stable part of my diet. It does produce unusual side effects from time-to-time and driving can be a bit of a pain! If you're interested then contact me via e-mail - thegimpmonkey@hotmail.com.

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 06:55 AM

Whoops sorry MODs, wrong website!

ctabuk

11-18-2005, 08:36 AM

Well tough luck ! Serves you right - Mods leave it up, he'll have a red enough face as it is!
chop the e-mail out though, and why not add bits, we could have a field day with this one.

ADAM Web Design

11-18-2005, 09:02 AM

Pucker up, buttercup, and get ready for Mr. Adam's wild ride. ;)

Happy BIRTH-day...Misssssssssssster Pres-i-dent...

(Wait...I'm big and hairy, but not female. Ah well, two out of three ain't bad.)

Chris

11-18-2005, 09:08 AM

omg. that is teh best thing ever on webproworld.

wow. just wow. :D

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 09:13 AM

It aint good either! Think i'll need a lot of vodka to accept you. Any better offers?

dharrison

11-18-2005, 09:14 AM

Hmmm, you won't be able to live this one down for quite a while, Munky (*sniggers) >:D

Theres lots of Braintree girls that live up to most of your description (Big, Hairy, love vodka), but not very femimine.

ctabuk

11-18-2005, 09:22 AM

I agree with Chris and he's Admin, so POST STAYS UP - and guess what - I'm going to post it in other forums! Funniest thing to happen here in years.

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 09:23 AM

Really? Is that at the Braintree Zoo?

dharrison

11-18-2005, 09:25 AM

Braintree is a zoo in general.

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 09:29 AM

Wikid! I know where i'm going tonite then! I've got a mate that used to live in Silver End - Mitch, he's a porkupine. I'll get him to show me around!

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 09:33 AM

Actually not tonight, the taxi fare will be too much! Brb, i need to top up my glssk.

dharrison

11-18-2005, 09:41 AM

Wikid! I know where i'm going tonite then! I've got a mate that used to live in Silver End - Mitch, he's a porkupine. I'll get him to show me around!

In that case I probably know him. I'm originally from Silver End.

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 09:48 AM

Rollox, i've run out of my favourite blueberry smirnoff vodka. Time for the metholated spirits...

ctabuk

11-18-2005, 09:58 AM

He just never looks but leaps, now he swills meths and this is a STICKY ! Oh I love it - Welcome back the good old bad old days

dharrison

11-18-2005, 10:05 AM

David you are mean (LOL). Poor Munky.

Wheres that meths ..?

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 10:14 AM

ghsdfjkgfjk fhdjksfhjksdf hjdhfjhjd

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 10:16 AM

Sorry MuNKy has gone blind and cannot type at the moment. This is Mitch typing for him....

Sorry I drank all the methylated spirit.

Chris

11-18-2005, 10:33 AM

meth has a much different meaning over on this side of the pond. when i first read munky's post, my eyes bugged. i should probably unstick this...

:)

dharrison

11-18-2005, 10:39 AM

What does it mean where you are, Chris? Methylated spirit?

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 10:47 AM

Delete the meth and change it to ethanol or methylated spirit. Then delete the other posts! I liked it as a Sticky!

Chris

11-18-2005, 11:15 AM

in the US, meth means crystal meth. and that's not why i unstuck this. i'll put it back up for the weekend, after that, we'll have to make sure everyone concerned doesn't have a problem.

dharrison

11-18-2005, 11:24 AM

OMFG. I just looked up the term you said on Google Chris and read what is was .

Errrr ... oops.

No way is that what we were referring to. I personally would not condone drugs of any way, shape or form.

The reference was meant to methylated spirit and we wouldn't really drink it. We were just a'ing about as its a Friday afternoon. Altho in comparison Vodka does taste like methylated spirit. :-)

Any references to the other form of Meths was unintentional (As I've only just learned what it is).

Sorry, I'll er get off my soapbox now.

ADAM Web Design

11-18-2005, 11:32 AM

LOL!

I love that. It's just like "bumming a ***." (For you Yanks who may not know this, it's a British slang term for asking for a free cigarette.)

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 11:32 AM

Cheers Chris!

MuNKyonline

11-18-2005, 11:57 AM

Right, i'm off to go and find my love monkey. Have a good weekend people =)

Chris

11-18-2005, 01:28 PM

have a great time and be safe. don't do no drivin' you crazy kids... please let us know how the "hunt" goes.

dharrison

11-18-2005, 02:10 PM

I'm gonna go and sink a bottle of claret shortly and watch a naff film.

For any1 who cares, its my birthday on Sunday :-|

Ta ta all and apologies for the misinterpretation earlier.

Yours,

Chris

11-18-2005, 02:55 PM

happy birthday deb. :) have a great weekend.

ADAM Web Design

11-18-2005, 03:32 PM

What Chris said. Go out and booze it up, Debbie!

No harm, no foul on the misinterpretation from this end. It's a cultural thing.

MuNKy: make sure you get your game on. Those hairy fat chimp women are hard to impress, you know!

Chris

11-18-2005, 04:24 PM

hell ADAM, i grew up in England and i still wasn't sure about meths. that's a new one on me. i guess i lose my fluent-in-cockney pass.

:)

Tubby

11-19-2005, 06:02 AM

Hey. . . I do not mind where this thread go's.
But Please have some consideration for us older users.

P.S. please include any photo's of hairy women. .

ctabuk

11-19-2005, 06:51 AM

Older Posters!!! You have the spirit of youth running through your veins Tubby.

MuNKY take your pick
http://www.i5.photobucket.com/albums/y169/ctabuk/ForMuNKY.jpg

dharrison

11-19-2005, 06:57 AM

That first monkey's giving you the eye, Tubby.

Quick swap phone numbers (LOL)

dharrison

11-19-2005, 06:59 AM

hell ADAM, i grew up in England and i still wasn't sure about meths. that's a new one on me. i guess i lose my fluent-in-cockney pass.

:)

Well "only fools and horses" DVD for Christmas should refresh your memory a tad Chris. :D

Anyway thought you said you gre up in Mildenhall?

Tubby

11-19-2005, 07:05 AM

That first Monkey is cute!. . A young mother too, she looks like a poweful gal . . It takes me back to when I was a Young Monkey.

But she is cute . . A wide angle lens would probably have picked up Big Daddy. . I think he might not like me sniffing around.
** It is all just memories and dreams **

Tubby

11-19-2005, 07:52 AM

An ode to MuNKy

http://restocar.com/monkey/

just thought I might add a 'parental' perspective....

kgun

11-19-2005, 09:02 AM

I have three daughters.

Contact med at skupot@hotmail.com : Sorry for the 100 % filter and I did not remember your epost so deep in the thread.

If you like potatoes and / or coffee, make the following requirements:

1. She can cook potatoes.
2. She may learn to make good coffee.
3. She (you) want to sleep in the same bed.

How do you spell coffee? Was it "coffi" Mr GoogleBOT and you found this http://www.coffi.org/ site for me. Please implement Ctabuk's SpellingCow so we can have English tea with milk.

Tubby

11-19-2005, 09:47 AM

Laughing my head off

"She can cook potatoes" Absolutely brilliant!

Kgun... you can spell coffee any way you feel like spelling it, it's your post.

I shall need help soon, I am laughing so hard my stomach is starting to cramp up ... Oh oh pain - thats funny - ouch...

http://restocar.com/monkey/
http://restocar.com/monkey/2
(my visual commentary)

MuNKyonline

11-20-2005, 03:11 PM

Thanks Tubby, that 'ode to MuNKy' was great!

Happy b-day Debbie!

My scouting for monkey love didnt go as planned unfortunately =( I spent most of the night carrying Mitches bro across Ipswich as he'd got a bit too drunk. It was his b-day afterall!

We were 'forced' to leave the last pub we got to and had to wait one and a half hours for the bus home! I didnt even get drunk! Oh well, there's always next week!

Anyone else do anything exciting this weekend? Anyone find me a hairy monkey? lol.

kgun

11-20-2005, 04:49 PM

When drunk too? :-)

MuNKyonline

11-20-2005, 07:21 PM

Not all the time no! Sometimes you lose the 'real eyes' when you're drunk!

I've actually got that same picture on my pinboard of those monkeys lol! It was used as a flyer for a club in Ipswich!

bodgekaloopie

11-20-2005, 09:11 PM

Poor MuNKy!
Tubby gave you 'ode to MuNKy' - perhaps next week some 'eau de MuNKy' would help... ;)

Tubby

11-20-2005, 10:43 PM

That would be right. . there you are sitting safe in the U.S.A. . . And you are giving information out to assist "A Monkey at large" terrorising the innocent hairy Girls of Suffolk, Norfolk, wherever.

I now have this vision of this sweet young thing, sniffing the air, holding one long hairy arm into the air saying - "here comes Monkey boy" and doing a bounce and backward flip and landing gracefully on the exact spot she started from . . .

dharrison

11-21-2005, 01:43 AM

Poor MuNKy!
Tubby gave you 'ode to MuNKy' - perhaps next week some 'eau de MuNKy' would help... ;)

LMAO. They could market the stuff. Whats it smell of?

BTW Tubby have you ever been to Suffolk/Norfolk? The locals definitely fall into the primate category.

Thanx guys for your birthday wishes. I did get "merry" and had a brill time. I'm not hungover, just tired and I've gotta start talking shop again.

Oh well, thats it for another year. Now time to think about Christmas.

ATB

mike

11-21-2005, 01:44 AM

To think, I've only been gone for a week...

Tubby

11-21-2005, 02:04 AM

D, Yes I have been to suffolk and Norfolk, but briefly - Essex was an early stamping ground as I was born in Acton London . I have been to every village below a ruled line through the centre of london and Bristol. I did this when I was young as a fitness thing when I was amateur boxing. As far as the Girls go. . I am a sucker for a 'Pam Ayers' type accent.

I Did a little monkey business if I recall correctly. And I recall when I first visited Britol and heard the local accent I did ask one girl what 3 and 3 was, just to here her say "six?"

I have a sister in (just outside) Yeovil that I will see for the first time in over 35 years in February when she visits. .

ctabuk

11-21-2005, 08:11 AM

I used to box as well, my Ring name was Rembrandt - I was not exactly 'artistic'but I spent a lot of the time on the canvass. In one bout I was knocked down so many times they sewed handles on my shorts!

Tubby

11-21-2005, 09:32 AM

..... *** Stumped ***
(Lost for words. how often does that happen/)

ctabuk

11-21-2005, 10:14 AM

yeah, listen mate I was so bad they used to ask for blood donors - before the fight!

MarcieZoob

11-21-2005, 03:05 PM

MuNKyonline

11-25-2005, 09:47 AM

I'm hopefully going to be more successful in my search this weekend. If anyone on their weekend wanderings finds a suitable love monkey for me - remember has to be hairy, then get their number pls! Cheers =P

dharrison

11-26-2005, 08:12 AM

Any joy?

webhost1

11-26-2005, 10:30 PM

MunKy

go to this site and you will find what your looking for.

http://www.dailyjolt.com/lovemonkey/

MuNKyonline

11-27-2005, 06:12 PM

No joy! It's the new drinking laws fault! The pub was open till 12 and the club I went to afterwards was still serving at 4. I was silly and drank way too much! Could have found my love monkey but i'm afraid I just cant remember :S

I'll have a look at that link....

Nice find Webhost1! One problem though - if I had their e-mail address, then I wouldnt be using their love monkey service would I? lol

webhost1

11-27-2005, 07:55 PM

Well I did find one more link you could of looked at, but I will not be cruel and post here for you. :)

MuNKyonline

11-28-2005, 03:43 AM

PM it to me then! :P

MuNKyonline

11-28-2005, 04:22 AM

I wish I hadn't done that now :(

webhost1

11-28-2005, 11:02 AM

Remember what you wished for? Now you know why I did not post public. Amazing what one can come up when you do a search. That one really catch me off guard when I went to it. I know a few others on here that would have posted that for you and added a cute saying to go with it. Rude awaking isn't it?

bodgekaloopie

11-28-2005, 11:20 AM

Further support for the old adage, "Be careful what you wish for!"

MuNKyonline

11-28-2005, 11:38 AM

If I was being serious in my previous posts then I would have loved it. Webhost1 you deffinately 'gave me what I asked for' lol. Maybe we should let everyone else in on what we're talking about?? ;)

bodgekaloopie

11-28-2005, 01:27 PM

Sounds too scary!

webhost1

11-28-2005, 11:49 PM

This is up to you. I find it more intersting not showing what is being talked about cause you sometimes get more email in trying to find out what is being talked about. This in turn sometimes leads into different subjects that can be talked about.

bodgekaloopie

sounds to scary is not even close to it this. I am lucky in that munky has a sense of humor on this.

MuNKyonline

11-29-2005, 04:11 AM

Yeah, we better not... I dont think the mods would approve!

dharrison

11-29-2005, 06:40 AM

If its illegal or disturbing, I don't wanna know!

webhost1

11-29-2005, 07:25 AM

It is not illegal. No way no how. Never, never, never. Now it could be disturbing to a person. But than again, what would be disturbing to you might not be to me. On the other hand it could be very disturbing to me and not you. That is the question right now. Disturbing or not. Just have to wait on this.

MuNKyonline

11-29-2005, 08:15 AM

I think we could accept requests for the link via a PM but i'm sure not posting it here lol!

dharrison

12-02-2005, 12:46 PM

So are you searching for that all important Primate tonight, m8?

bodgekaloopie

12-02-2005, 02:52 PM

Ah yes... it's Friday! And judging by the time difference, those of you in the UK are probably headed for the pubs, if you aren't there already.

Good luck this weekend, MuNKy! ;)

dharrison

12-02-2005, 04:19 PM

I just got back from a candle party (woo woo!)

The most exciting highlight of my weekend, I think.

Oh well. :)

Chris

12-02-2005, 04:40 PM

what's a candle party? sounds "witchy"... ;)

dharrison

12-02-2005, 04:47 PM

No its not witchy. Tho one of my friends that I bought one for is a White Witch

No its more Christmassy than anything. Didn't know you could get so much fun out of candles.

OMG I wrote that?!? (I am getting old) What I meant was it was a nice evening and minus any form of alcohol.

MarcieZoob

12-03-2005, 03:52 PM

Candle party? Sounds kinky! You should have invited Munky - I bet there were lots of babes there looking for a hairy munky to pour hot wax on...

dharrison

12-04-2005, 08:19 AM

LMAO. I should have done shouldn't I?

All the women at the party were big and hairy, but a lot older, so depends what Munkys preference is.

webhost1

12-04-2005, 12:19 PM

He would have taken anything in the state of mind he was in. Everything looked good to him. Big, small, hairy, toothless, did not matter. They all looked the same to him, whatever that would be. DC has a pic of him and his old gal someplace. Will have to ask David to find it if he can. MunKy should of never sent that pic to David.

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 04:53 AM

LMAO. I should have done shouldn't I?

All the women at the party were big and hairy, but a lot older, so depends what Munkys preference is.

Depends on how drunk I would have been! Hot wax is fun! Still havent managed to find a good place to find my monkey love.

He would have taken anything in the state of mind he was in. Everything looked good to him. Big, small, hairy, toothless, did not matter. They all looked the same to him, whatever that would be.
Exactly! :P

DC has a pic of him and his old gal someplace. Will have to ask David to find it if he can. MunKy should of never sent that pic to David.
What!! How on earth do you know about that?! David said he wouldnt show that to anyone! O man! I think I'd die of embarassment if that pic ever got on here!

nozzmoking

12-05-2005, 06:56 AM

Hi Munky,

Remember me? Nozzmoking's sister?

http://www.castleprint.co.uk/images/cissie.jpg

Sorry for contacting you this way, but you forgot to leave me your email address after the other night.

I believe you've been getting a bit of a ribbing on the forum. Well, I just wanted to put the record straight and say what a fantastic bloke you are. Thank you so much for the lovely meal we enjoyed together. I haven't been to Burger King for many years and had forgotton how exquisite the experience could be. And no, I didn't mind paying at all.

I also really enjoyed listening to you talking about your computer company. I don't have a computer, as you know, but now I want one. If you do decide to sell Microsoft, what will you do next?

I've stopped shaving my back and shoulders now. It feels a bit weird but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I know you like it though, my little DevilBoy munchkin.

Thanks very much for the Ann Summers voucher, which arrived in this morning's post. Do you still want me to get the gas mask outfit? By the way, I'm sorry for laughing when you put the french maid's outfit on, it's just that I thought you were joking at first. It does really suit you though.

Mother has asked for her fishnets back.

Anyway, I have to get back to work now, Daddy needs collecting from the airport.

I'll see you at the same place, same time on Tuesday?

All my love as always DevilBoy,

Britney
xxxx
Skinfull Pleasures Inc. - Wholesale Vodka & Beer Supplies

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 07:34 AM

Git! lol

OMG! I think I remember making her walk through the drive through. She had to pay cos I'd emptied my bank account buying drink to make her look less bad. After 48 pints she still looked like a trog.

Too late I already sold the clothes on e-bay.

Ahem.. I mean i don't know what you're talking about!

Deffinitely wont be there but i'll send my blind hamster instead - hows that?

=P

dharrison

12-05-2005, 08:34 AM

http://www.castleprint.co.uk/images/cissie.jpg

You guys are funny !! LMAO

Didn't realise that Les Dawson had been reincarnated as a woman.

Are you sure you didn't meet her in Essex Munky!?!

kgun

12-05-2005, 08:55 AM

I'm hopefully going to be more successful in my search this weekend. If anyone on their weekend wanderings finds a suitable love monkey for me.

Why not start a love search engine for MunKy? I have already started
http://multifinanceit.com/markets/EurAsia/anastasia/dating.htm
a portal.

1. Tell me if your want the colors (background) changed (but no black on black or white on white. You see, I have grey hair).
2. If you want 100 % filter, I may close down the page.
3. If not, tell me the filters you want.

Don't blame me if you end up in Siberia with all your money lost. May be, I meet you on the Trans Siberian railroad in http://www.monkeyshrine.com/ where Monkey Business Shrine. Try the following search on Google:

KW:Transsiberian railroad

First hit (or was it Ad's by Google especially for MunKy?) in Norway:
http://www.monkeyshrine.com/ with anchor text "Trans-Siberian Stopovers"

<monkey Ad start>
And, yes my girls are beautiful, the oldest are going to Hollywood in the beginning of January, won an apperance contest (no joke), but she is married, and can hardly cook potatoes. Calls her father when she makes T-bone steak. The youngest is free, but then you have to stop drinking (too much) :-)
</monkey Ad end>

P.S. Here http://www.monkeyheaven.com/ is Monkey Heaven.

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 09:09 AM

LOL, I had to look up who Les Dawson was!

Maybe Les Dawson is actually Nozzmoking! He's a poltergeist who can use a keyboard and mouse! Then that would explain why that's his sister and they look so alike!!

I have no idea - I was that drunk! I started in Ipswich and ended up (alone) in the village that I live in.

nozzmoking

12-05-2005, 09:52 AM

Belated Birthday Greetings Debbie!!

Paul

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 10:03 AM

See if you can find me a siberian monkey kgun(if they even exist) that'll be really funny!

kgun

12-05-2005, 10:13 AM

Be forewarned: it is a jungle out there!
Don't let yourself become another victim of Internet con-artists!

http://www.womenrussia.com/antiscam8.htm?hop=highlevel

so you should have your comparative advantages :-)

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 10:58 AM

Get some of them to contact me. I'll start a poll and see who everyone thinks I should go for! lol

kgun

12-05-2005, 11:25 AM

Get some of them to contact me. I'll start a poll and see who everyone thinks I should go for! lol

Try http://www.random.org/

But first you have to answer this question? Can a dataprogram produce random numbers?

Hint: "Numerical Receipes in C" by Press, Teulosky, Vettering and Flannery chapter 7 in my edition.

A useful strategy in Game theory http://www.gametheory.net/, http://neyman.im.pwr.wroc.pl/Games.html

If your opponent foresee every move, randomize your next move, but then you have to leave .....

You have to find the poll yourself.

Remember, the laydy that contact you may be a (hairy man) chess player :-)

Do not use Gmail, since my youngest daughter (no Ad) told me something about dating and Gmail.. :-)

P.S. I made my own Random Number generator in C++:
1. An array with 100 (0,1) produced by flipping a coin.
2. Used the computer clock (%k (modulo)) to pick an element from that array.
3. If 1, use a sepcific random number generator. If 0, use another random number generator.

Excercise: Is the number produced by my algorithm random? Can you use a Chi square or F-test to answer the question? What is a random enough number?

In theory, theory and practice is the same, but that is in theory.

So I have to change my practice, since the fact do not fit the theory. Did I suggest a random lady for you??

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 11:38 AM

Right..that.... imagine me taking my hand and moving it over my head from front to back. Maybe even making a swishing noise to emphasise the action.

kgun

12-05-2005, 11:42 AM

Isn't you a member of WPW ? :-)

Should we rename it to WorldProDating ? :-)

MuNKyonline

12-05-2005, 11:44 AM

Er no, otherwise some people might actually think I was being serious :P

kgun

12-05-2005, 11:49 AM

"Den som tar spøk
for spøk
og alvor kun alvorlig,
han eller hun har faktisk fattet begge deler like dårlig"

Freely translated to English:
Who takes joke
for joke
and seriousness just serious,
he or she has really grasped both subjects equally bad.

It is on verse in Danish / Norwegian.

Since you are a web designer, (programmer) the Random number part was serious :-) :-)

I stop there. I hope I did not make the thread (too) serious :-(

webhost1

12-05-2005, 02:26 PM

Munky this is some serious stuff here. Can you handle it? I mean all those theories that will get you the one you lost. If you can follow all what was said than your half way to finding it. Whatever it might be. Don't stran your brain to hard, I would hate for you to have a hicup and lose your thought. :)