Web Detox...

[vfaulkner]

Internet Detox Center

The rules for the Internet Detox Center are as follows:
All words written must be in full form. (No shorthand)

Group Therapy is not to be mistaken as a chat room.

The words LOL, Bling, A/S/L, and Pic, Are forbidden.

When a person stalls, its not to be considered as "Lagging."

The shakes that come in forms of an "Air Keyboard" are to be treated ASAP.

Going to sleep is not to be mistaken as signing off.

One on One therapy is not to be mistaken as an "Instant Message," "Personnel Massage," "Paging," Or "Lofting."

All records must be file on paper using black ink. (No computers allowed -- period.)

No "nicknames" allowed because of the "screen name" factor.

When your treatment is over and you leave you are NOT considered to have been "Booted."

YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IN THE YEAR 2003 (and/or need Detoxing)WHEN:
1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not have an e-mail address.

2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

3. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

4. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

5. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.

6. You buy a computer and 3 months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

7. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.

8. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.

9. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

10. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

11. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

12. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.

13. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

14. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

15. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

16. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

17. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.

18. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

19. You're reading this.

20. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else . . .

[antkneetag]

I admit I need help. Please pass along a web address so I can check it out. LOL ;-)

[spherica]

LOL I think fathom can check yes to just about all of these LMAO

LOL


Instead of wallpaper in my office I have
"post-it" paper


You should send this out to put in WPW emailer as quote of the month

THANKS for making me chuckle--

DAREN*&

[wenwilder]

Half the fun of being part of WPW is you never know what you may get to read next, and sometimes you never know when an old thread will come back to haunt you! ;)

Reading new posts are great, reading forgotten posts is just as great. :)

[matauri]

In resurrection mode are we Wen? :-)


So for my dear friend who I spoke to yesterday who is in desperate need of detox....


You know you've reached the 2004 DETOX time when:

1. You send out apology emails & SMS's to friends and family about why you haven't been in touch.

2. You forget what phones are for, and how to use them.

3. You car battery is flat from non use.

4. You now take note of website adresses on advertising instead of phone numbers.

5. When your out doing grocery shopping you are still thinking of the computer store down the corner, and the latest gadget you need to check out.

6. Instead of checking phone messages as the first thing you do when you get home, you now check your email first.

7. You forget what a bank looks like. What's real money anyway?

8. You now have passwords on your cell phones, TV subscription services, etc.

9. You have forgotten how to use a dining table for its real purpose, and now eat dinner at the computer.

10. You no longer use paper post-it notes, you now use them on your computer & your desktop is littered with post-it notes. (I am soooo guilty of this one!!)

11. Your now swapping jokes from emails to forums, instead of from IRL friend to friend.

12. When faced with talking to an actual person, you dont know what to talk about.

13. When talking to someone on the phone, you hear a tap, tap ,tap in the background...or lulls in the conversation as they are reading or doing something else.

14. Turning on the computer preceeds the ritual of coffee in the morning.

15. You can't remember the last time you have seen your bed before sunrise.

16. When you are away from your computer, you wonder what it's doing while your not there !!



Cindy

[ronniethedodger]

It is really bad when you turn your monitor off and lay down in bed to go to sleep. You stare up at the ceiling and you get the "ghost screen" effect into full focus...then it slowly disappears. At which time you immediately turn back on your monitor so you can do a "ceiling refresh".

[redcircle]

Additions to this.

16. Computer repairs take presidence over auto repairs.
17. You have bragging rights based on how many fps you can get in quake III
18. You check your email atleast once a day with your cellphone.
19. You take pictures with your cellphone(really bad ones)
20. You no longer ask for directions when going to a friends house. You just ask for the address and goto mapquest.
21. You spend hours making your own buddy icon.
22. You make buddy icons for your friends.
23. You get angry when it takes more than 10 minutes to burn a cd.
24. Macs are considered cool by computer geeks

[carju1]

4. You now take note of website adresses on advertising instead of phone numbers.
Wow you mean ads still have phone numbers on them!!! Even my 9 year old keeps a pen and paper by the tv so she can write down the URL's of the sites she wants to visit that are shown on tv.


13. When talking to someone on the phone, you hear a tap, tap ,tap in the background...or lulls in the conversation as they are reading or doing something else. I deny it, you have never spoken to me on the phone :) but even my mother now says 'stop working on your computer' when she hears the tap tap tap when I'm on the phone to her :0


14. Turning on the computer preceeds the ritual of coffee in the morning. Nah the coffe pot takes longer to warm up, boot up and process the coffee than the pc takes to boot up. coffee pot 1st, then pc.

Julian

[mikmik]

Ya, well, I was reading this thread earlier:

To matauri - I highlight everything on my desktop about once every 4 days, make a new folder called "Desktop_date'X'" in a seperate partition (wouldn't want to lose anything! lol) and drag'n'drop everything and make a shortcut to it.

I have 7 layers of 'saves'....
My last HOUSECLEANING(sob): "jan4DsktopBkup" -time for another sweep! :o(
Size on disk: 127 MB (133,676,892 bytes)
Contains: 4,553 Files, 649 Folders

MY FAVOURITES!!(also backed up) = 19.6MB!!! 1,804 files and 338 folders!!!!

AS IF!!
Say I spend an average of one minute per file going over them to find what was so important, it would take 106 hours, that's 4 1/2 days just to see what is so important...
I have close to 200 cookies saved as well!

This is madness!


To ronnie: I take my computer to my bedside from my desk so I can reach it instantly. I haven't read a book for 4 months.
I haven't watched my favourite hockey team since last year in March '03, or my favourite soccer teams (Leeds UFC, Dutch National team) since the world cup in 2002, no europe, nothing.No NFL!!Baseball!!!


To redcircle: all of the above, I have two Radeon 64 Mb cards, I get apoplexy when my system has to retrieve something from 'paged memory', and it takes 4 seconds!


To carju1: I jump up(after checking my e-mail at bedside) and run to the coffeemaker, put a coffee mug under the spout, fill up the filter with as much as it will hold, run back - move computer back to desk - run and grab mug, placing pot under spout to catch the rest of the 6x strength sludge brew, and drink this 'equivalent of 10 cup high-test' tar while walking 11 feet back to where my computer is at.

So I tried to turn my computer off for 1, that's one, day. I made it for 4 hours!...


and here I am.


I fit in just right .
I'm home!! :o)))

I love you guys!

[ronniethedodger]

Oh man...you are sick dude. You are in need of some serious counseling. And I suggest that you get that counseling offline! ;0)

I know it will be tough to do counseling offline, but remember....we are all here for you if you need us!

[wenwilder]

I feel for you mik! My computer is never off! If I shut one off, the other one is already on and connected with everything exactly the same as the other one - does that make sense somehow? lol

A good friend introduced me to Win2000 and I'll never be able to thank him enough! Now, not only do I NOT have to reboot the computer at least once a week, I don't get those stupid illegal ops.

ahhhh the peaceful hum of the harddrive, the click-click-click of the keyboard and the hundreds of windows displayed on the ever changeable monitor! Heaven! (unless viewed without the morning pot of coffee by a highly irritable operator) ;)

Somethings only get better with life, irritability is not one of those things. ;)

[mikmik]

I recall a commercial on TV. Some sports fanatic guy is shown walking through his house.
He walks down a long hall, there is a flat panel monitor above, on the ceiling, and as he passes under it, another one pops into view a little further on.
He turns into the laundry room - you guessed it - a TV screen in the controls panel of washer. He lifts the lid, and it covers the screen, but wait! There is a mirror on the underside of the lid and he can see a TV on the wall behind him!

wen said
I feel for you mik! My computer is never off! If I shut one off, the other one is already on and connected with everything exactly the same as the other one - does that make sense somehow? lol


I'm thinking...SERVER! Thin client in every room!

I am one sick dude!

I feel right at home, ronniethedodger! lol

[wenwilder]

Oh man...you are sick dude. You are in need of some serious counseling. And I suggest that you get that counseling offline! ;0)

I know it will be tough to do counseling offline, but remember....we are all here for you if you need us!

Counseling offline????? They have that????? Wow! Wonders really never cease do they??? ;)

hmmmm wonder if that explains why Minstrel hasn't been around??? By the way??? Where is Minstrel??? ;)

[ronniethedodger]

Counseling offline????? They have that????? Wow! Wonders really never cease do they??? ;)

hmmmm wonder if that explains why Minstrel hasn't been around??? By the way??? Where is Minstrel??? ;)

He is sick with the flu last I heard. Either that or he has kicked the habit and is now opening a whole slew of Offline Treatment Clinics. Watch your spam boxes people. ;0)

[mikmik]

wenwilder asked
Where is Minstrel???
and ronniethedodger answered
He is sick with the flu last I heard.
Quick! Buy 'Cough Syrup' stock, all you can get your hands on. lol :o)

[matauri]

OK Wen...your new nickname....Resurrection Queen! ;-)
You need a cool graphic to go with your title!

And peoples, I thought I was bad...but you guys take the cake! LOL I at least give my baby a few hours sleep a day :-)


even my mother now says 'stop working on your computer' when she hears the tap tap tap when I'm on the phone to her :0
I didn't know we were related Julian. My long lost brother! ;-)


Nah the coffe pot takes longer to warm up, boot up and process the coffee than the pc takes to boot up. coffee pot 1st, then pc.
Thats what perculator timers are for :-)


18. You check your email atleast once a day with your cellphone.
I will not do it! I will not do it! (continues to repeat this to herself)


16. Computer repairs take presidence over auto repairs.
Now you have 'crossed over'. Nothing takes precedence over the wheels! :-)


20. You no longer ask for directions when going to a friends house. You just ask for the address and goto mapquest.
Oh soooo guilty of!

Makes you wonder though. If you put Redcircle , Wen & Mik in a room with only 2 computers...Who would have them ;-)


Cindy

[redcircle]

Wen and mik would cause I'd be perfectly happy with my ipaq

[geoffreygag]

Great Question

- You're answering a post on this forum at 3:30 AM

- Wife has to call you 5x / 6x times for dinner.

- Since you don't walk enough, your knees get tight.

- You sit on your chair favoring sides or angles and you wonder why your back hurts.

- You get the mail every 2 days.

- Not only do you see URL's on commercials or ads, but you double check to see if they have a matching toll free vanity number.

[redcircle]

better yet. you start referencing time by the # of posts on wpw.. wait.. that's getting into a thread we had a couple months ago.. i'll stop not.

[ronniethedodger]

better yet. you start referencing time by the # of posts on wpw.. wait.. that's getting into a thread we had a couple months ago.. i'll stop not.

When you read someones post and actually understand what they meant to say! ;0)

[cooper]

to be added to the list:

- for late breaking news, instead of turning on CNN on the television you go to CNN.com or do a news search at Google.
- you spend more time with your laptop than your loved ones.
- "People" are referred to as "users"
- You instant message or email someone in the next room or worse yet, in the SAME room as you to let then know about lunch.

:oD

[sonnie]

When you read someones post and actually understand what they meant to say! ;0)

That's it, I need directions to the nearest detox center.