About dogs and cats

[Greyhawk]

It is just all too true!

Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendiclular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

My compact music discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

To pacify you, my pets... I have posted the following message on our front door.....

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don]t worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

Greyhawk

[labrynth_of_fire]

rotflmao.. thats funny

[minstrel]

One of my sisters uses this as her tagline for email:

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." --
Unknown

[wenwilder]

At the end of the Beatles' song "A Day in the Life,"
an ultrasonic whistle, audible only to dogs, was recorded
by Paul McCartney for his Shetland sheepdog.


Dogs & Their People:

62% of U.S. dog owners sign letters or cards from themselves and their dogs.

33% of U.S. dog owners admit that they talk to their dogs on the phone or leave messages on an answering machine while away.

7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their owners.

Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their pets each year.

Annually, Americans spend more on dog food than on baby food.

There are more than 100 million dogs and cats in the United States.

Cats, not dogs, are the most common pets in America (roughly 66 million cats to 58 million dogs, with parakeets a distant third at 14 million).

More than one million stray dogs and over 500,000 stray cats live in the New York City metropolitan area.

In the early 1940's, Swiss inventor George de Mestral went on a walk with his dog. After arriving home, he saw that his pants and his dog's coat were covered with cockleburrs. When he looked at the burrs under a microscope, he discovered they have a natural hook-like shape, which became the basis for his invention of a unique, two-sided fastener --- one side with stiff "hooks" like the burrs and the other side with the soft "loops" like the fabric of his pants. The result was VELCRO® brand hook and loop fasteners, named for the French words"velour" and "crochet."

Credit for the invention of the parachute goes to Sebastien Lenormand in 1783. In 1495, Leonardo da Vinci designed a pyramid-shaped chute. J.P. Blanchard (1753-1809), a Frenchman, is said to have been the first to use a parachute. In 1785, he dropped a dog in a basket, to which a parachute was attached, from a balloon high in the air. Blanchard claimed to have descended from a balloon in a parachute in 1793.

Actor John Barrymore became an eccentric animal collector in his later years. His beloved menagerie consisted of 300 different birds, dozens of Siamese cats, and 19 dogs, of which there were 11 greyhounds, several St. Bernards, and a few Kerry blue terriers. Barrymore also had a monkey, a few opossum, and mouse deer.

Adolf Hitler's favorite dog, Blondi, was his Alsatian used to make sure his cyanide capsules were lethal. Hitler used the cyanide to commit suicide when he saw it worked on Blondi.

The only dog to ever appear in a Shakespearean play was Crab in "The Two Gentlemen of Verona."

Lassie is the favorite movie dog of animal experts, beating out Benji and Beethoven.

Dog Facts:

The now-extinct ancestor of the horse, eohippus, had a short neck, a pug muzzle, and stood no higher than a medium-sized dog.

The fastest dog, the Greyhound, can reach speeds of up to 41.7 miles per hour. The breed was known to exist in ancient Egypt as many as 6,000 years ago.

Boxers were named after their habit of playing. At the beginning of play with another dog, a Boxer will stand on his hind legs and bat at his opponent, appearing to "box" with his front paws.

Greyhounds have better eyesight than any other breed of dog.

The seeing-eye dog, or any dog trained to guide the blind, canot tell a red light from a green one. When it lead its master across the street, it watches the traffic flow to tell when it is safe to cross.

Contrary to popular belief, dogs do not sweat by salivating. They sweat through the pads of their feet.

Though human noses have an impressive 5 million olfactory cells with which to smell, sheepdogs have 220 million, enabling them to smell 44 times better than man.


In Russia, dogs have been trained to sniff out ore deposits that contain iron sulfides


The Alaskan Iditarod, an annual 1,149-mile race, commemorates the 1925 "Race for Life" when 20 volunteer mushers relayed medicine from Anchorage to Nome to battle a children's diphtheria epidemic.


Sled dogs running in the Ididarod burn an average of 10,000 calories each day.


The State Sport of Alaska is dog mushing.

Barking Sands Beach on the Hawaiian island of Kauai is known for its unusual sand that squeaks or "barks like a dog." The dry sand grains emit an eerie sound when rubbed with bare feet.
[/b]

[Greyhawk]

Wow Wen I would hate to have to face you in a Trivial Persuit match.

Greyhawk

[minstrel]

The State Sport of Alaska is dog mushing.
Yikes! That seems a tad extreme...

Do they do it just with like a normal fork? or would they use a potato masher?

[wenwilder]

Wow Wen I would hate to have to face you in a Trivial Persuit match.

Greyhawk

You're not the first one to tell me that! lol

[matauri]

Dogs & Their People:

In Australia dogs are mans best friend.

They'll divorce their wife before they get rid of their dog.

They hold the bars attention when they talk about 'old bluey' their blue heeler, who really isnt blue but certainly does heel.

They call their cops 'blue heelers' & even have a cops show called Blue Heelers .

They brag about how much beer their dog can drink.

They brag about the size of the pig or roo that their dog brought down in a single lung.

The gals put their foot down & state that half the bed is in fact theirs & not the dogs !


;-)

Cindy

[minstrel]

In Australia... They'll divorce their wife before they get rid of their dog.
In North America, many men feel that way about their cars... or even their socks.


They brag about how much beer their dog can drink.
Pfffttt... what do Aussie dogs know about drinking beer? (and by beer we, of course, mean ale)


They brag about the size of the pig or roo that their dog brought down in a single lung.
Okay... you got me there. I don't think North America has any dogs with lungs that big...

[matauri]

Okay... you got me there. I don't think North America has any dogs with lungs that big...

We grow big 'lungs' down here !! Hadn't you noticed ;-)



Cindy

[mikmik]

Yaarkks!! Thanks to wen, we now know this:
Though human noses have an impressive 5 million olfactory cells with which to smell, sheepdogs have 220 million, enabling them to smell 44 times better than man. Now, combined with their big lungs, and posteriors that have been roasting in the Aussie sun and chasing down roos all day, these same canine crazies who alsohad been drinking heavily the night before, and by drinking we mean thick, dark, bitter ale, THEY STILL SAY HELLO TO EACH OTHER THAT WAY!?! At least they're not cats (O;

matauri, who no dog would even pretend to think of doing this to, said
The gals put their foot down & state that half the bed is in fact theirs & not the dogs !

The Nerve! Next thing you know, they'll want to vote! The dogs, I mean *O:

[minstrel]

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can do all or even most of these things...

... there's a pretty good chance you're a Golden Retriever (or possibly a Cocker Spaniel).

[mikmik]

minstrel concluded:
If you can do all or even most of these things...

... there's a pretty good chance you're a Golden Retriever (or possibly a Cocker Spaniel).

I don't know. I think that even among the dogs, someone that together would be considered a 'saint'.
As in "St. Bernard". Bringer of brandy.
No wonder it's 'saint'...

[wenwilder]

Advice to Women

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section...........buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you..........buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it............ buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want...........buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors...........buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't watch football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic
movies...........buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores............buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worth listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually....buy a dog.

But on the other hand If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place,walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness,

Then my friend.....

Buy a cat!

(Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental)

[Czar]

LOL

[cyanide]

hmmmm . . .

I love cats !!

[wenwilder]

hmmmm . . .

I love cats !!

You being a cat person doesn't surprise me! lol

[cyanide]

hmmmm . . .

I love cats !!

You being a cat person doesn't surprise me! lol
whoah !!
what're you tryin' to say ??

actually your description of cats, sounds alot like me LOL

[wenwilder]

actually your description of cats, sounds alot like me LOL

And you're admitting this publically?? ;)

[matauri]

So is this all we have to do to make Cyanide purrrr ;-)



Cindy

[pete61uk]

Cats are:

Intelligent
Independent
Empathic
Discerning of those to whom they give their affection, and
Unconditionally love those they do
Etc…..

They:

Don’t stink the house up when wet
Don’t embarrass you by favouring the legs of guests, and
Don’t sniff their every orifice at the first opportunity
Don’t slobber
Etc…..

I love cats too!

[mikmik]

wen, wen, wen.
If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section...........buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you..........buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it............ buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want...........buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors...........buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't watch football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic
movies...........buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores............buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worth listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually....buy a dog

You have to meet my cats. They are all of the above, they even will put up with dogs.

AND:
Intelligent
Independent
Empathic
Discerning of those to whom they give their affection, and
Unconditionally love those they do
Etc…..

They:

Don’t stink the house up when wet
Don’t embarrass you by favouring the legs of guests, and
Don’t sniff their every orifice at the first opportunity
Don’t slobber
Etc…..

You said it, pete61uk!

Usually, within minutes of 'meeting' an new cat (dogs to) they start to follow me around.
Sorry, gotta go, time for my tuna...

[cyanide]

Thanks pete !!

Well said

As I was saying, it describes me perfectly


And you're admitting this publically?? ;)
doh !

So is this all we have to do to make Cyanide purrrr ;-)
well ... among a few other things -ahem!

[greeneagle]

I have several (14) birds someone can have!
Ken

[wenwilder]

What is a Cat?

Cats do what they want.

They rarely listen to you.

They're totally unpredictable.

When you want to play, they want to be alone.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They expect you to cater to their every whim.

They're moody.

They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats


What is a Dog?

Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.

They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

They growl when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to play.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They leave their toys everywhere.

They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.



14 birds????? How do you do it greeneagle? That has to be noisy!

Mik, your cats sound like my mom's cats. Her's actually 'talk' to her. (I think she hears voices too, but I can't prove that ;) ) One says 'out' very clearly! And the other, even as redundant as this will sound, really says 'I love you.' They are quite the characters.

[wenwilder]

The Difference Between Cats and Dogs

Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you"ve ever made since the day you were born.
Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three hour nap.
Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

[pete61uk]

Wen wrote:

"Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse."

If you like your slippers chewed and slobbered over, fine. As to the paper, as far as a dog is concerned it might as well be a germ-infested stick. And you'd better be sure it doesn't "mark" them first!

If you are lucky enough that a cat brings you, from their perspective, a snack, you should consider yourself highly honoured.

A cat will only hunt and not eat its' prey if:

It is content, or
Its intended recipient is favoured above itself

[Tel]

Another good thing with dogs:

The later you come home the more pleased they are to see you!

[mikmikmik]

Tel, speaking as only an experienced dog master can, reports this: (lol)
Another good thing with dogs:

The later you come home the more pleased they are to see you!

Yes. If you don't push it past the one week mark, cause then they have drained all the toilets of good drinkin' water, and they still need you to feed them. Even if they've somehow managed to completely destroy the furniture into 86,000 little bits of fluff and woodchips, or if outside, they may have eaten their dog house, or the garage, or so I've heard, but they still think that they are cute!

Past about day 9, they think that you are intruding on their territory, and add to that the fact that they are literally insane with hunger, and have finally figured out that not only is it your fault they are hungry, you also make half decent food, in a pinch.
A cat just spills all the plants and moves in somewhere down the block. That's what I would do.
:O)

[cyanide]

The Difference Between Cats and Dogs

Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you"ve ever made since the day you were born.
Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three hour nap.
Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
In other words, Wen ...
Cats have attitude !!!

And, also:
Cats clean up after themselves, no need to go outside when its -20c following behind with a shovel

[wenwilder]

In other words, Wen ...
Cats have attitude !!!


I have an attitude too - maybe I should have been a cat! purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ;)

[matauri]

Something sounds little fishy in here with all this purring from Cyanide & Wen ;-)

Is there something we should know??? LOL

Maybe a little too much catnip? ;-)



Cindy

[Jurgen]

Usually, within minutes of 'meeting' an new cat (dogs to) they start to follow me around.
Sorry, gotta go, time for my tuna...

Guess it's the smell.... :-)

Jurgen

[Czar]

MikMik

You and I are in the same boat... for some reason cats and dogs use me as there personal nap areas... even that ones that hate everyone else seem to find me comfortable..

Wen,

Yep you should have been a cat lol *hides the catnip and finds the claw clippers*

Czar

[cyanide]

I have an attitude too - maybe I should have been a cat! purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ;)
Or atleast a cat-lover LOL


Something sounds little fishy in here with all this purring from Cyanide & Wen ;-)

Is there something we should know??? LOL

Maybe a little too much catnip? ;-)
ooohh, ouch !! - getting weird goose bumps .......

[Jurgen]

And than there are dogs who think they are dogs, but act like cats.... You should meet the one in our house.. She is doing all of the above..... :-)

My dog listen to what ever I say: "Are you come here or not?" And she will come to me........ or not.... :-) (just like a woman....)

Her doggie door broke. Do you think she will go out the open hole? Nope.... guess i have to fix it tomorrow....

Jurgen

PS: Can you guys see what I mean? Those girls make you work like a dog, and what do you get out of it??????

:-) Just 'kiddin'

Reminds me: From a dogs eye of view: There was this biiiiiig line in front of a store. Not knowing what was sold, the dog asked the last fellow in the line. "They are having a sale, I have been waiting for two hours now, it's a bitch" (waiting):-(

Jurgen

[Jurgen]

Sorry guys, didn't know this word was censored..... :-)

!bleep!

Jurgen

[matauri]

ooohh, ouch !! - getting weird goose bumps .......

LOL...your not making your case any better ;-)

Wen...behave ! ;-)


Cindy

[wenwilder]

ooohh, ouch !! - getting weird goose bumps .......

LOL...your not making your case any better ;-)

Wen...behave ! ;-)


Cindy

Sure it's always the womans fault! lol I blame ........... the cat! Ya, that's it! ;)

[cyanide]

Sure it's always the womans fault! lol I blame ........... the cat! Ya, that's it! ;)
Yes !












It Is !

Cats rule !

[Jurgen]

ooohh, ouch !! - getting weird goose bumps .......

Goose??? Shouldn't that be cat or dog?


sure, it's always the womans fault!

That is not the way it sounds in my house. or was it hers? Can't remember....

Jurgen

[Czar]

hmmmmm
from what i have been told...

Men are dogs... so its our fault lol

Czar

[wenwilder]

YOU are asking for trouble young man!!! Children are supposed to respect their elders LOL




Sure it's always the womans fault! lol I blame ........... the cat! Ya, that's it! ;)
Yes !












It Is !

Cats rule !

[sonnie]

Personally, I still favor my pet rock.

[mikmik]

sonnie wrote:
Personally, I still favor my pet rock.
What's it's name. But it is probably not necessary, like a dog with no arms and no legs, it doesnt need a name because it won't come when it's called anyways.

But, I was wonderring If I could have a pebble from it's next litter. My pet rock died last year, and now I am ready to move on.

Czar. You like tuna too, eh? lol

wen wrote
YOU are asking for trouble young man!!! Children are supposed to respect their elders LOL

I don't care, age doesn't matter, when you are 6'7" tall, and name of Czar, I RESPECT YOU, SIR! :o)

[ronniethedodger]

sonnie wrote:
Personally, I still favor my pet rock.
What's it's name. But it is probably not necessary, like a dog with no arms and no legs, it doesnt need a name because it won't come when it's called anyways.

I think you would still have to name it depending on what you use your pet rock (or legless dog) for.

If it was one of them lightweight pumice stone type of rocks, you could throw it in the lake and call him Bob.

If you lay him out on the porch, you would call him Matt. Use him for first base and call him Who.

Use him to keep the axle of your car off the ground, and call him Jack.

Stick him in your pants pocket and call him Richard Longfellow!

And if it really p's you off, you will definitely have to call him John. ;0)

[Czar]

YOU are asking for trouble young man!!! Children are supposed to respect their elders LOL

I don't respect my elders... I respect the people that know more then I do lol. (which seems to be quite a few lately lol)


I don't care, age doesn't matter, when you are 6'7" tall, and name of Czar, I RESPECT YOU, SIR! :o)

At ease Gen. MikMik lol.

[sonnie]

What's it's name. But it is probably not necessary, like a dog with no arms and no legs, it doesnt need a name because it won't come when it's called anyways.

My rock is Big Bertha, well, not any more as she has lost a lot of weight. I have taken her around for years with me going on walks. Used to tie a rope to her and drag her down the street. Now she is so small, I can slip her into my pocket. Still, doesn't seem the same.

[wenwilder]

Proof positive that I am NOT the only blonde :p


YOU (cyanide) are asking for trouble young man!!! Children are supposed to respect their elders LOL




Sure it's always the womans fault! lol I blame ........... the cat! Ya, that's it! ;)
Yes !












It Is !

Cats rule !

[cyanide]

Goose??? Shouldn't that be cat or dog?
Somehow Cat-bumps just didn't do it.
.... maybe fur balls, perhaps


Proof positive that I am NOT the only blonde :p

Uhhh, you talkin' to me ??
um, YES, you are !!


YOU (cyanide) are asking for trouble young man!!! Children are supposed to respect their elders LOL
Are you calling me a children ??

hmmm, that must mean you're an elder.
Isn't 9:46 pm WAAAYYY past your bedtime ???

G-night !!

[matauri]

This topic was just begging for a post, but I had to keep editing myself! ;-)

LOL...so much naughty humour in the posts! Or is it my BAD aussie mind wandering! And Cyanide....you mention both is same post! ;-)

<<<slaps her wrists....behave myself!>>

;-)

Cindy

[mikmik]

matauri wrote
....

= makes mental

[mikmik]

Why Dogs Don't Use Computers - Computers
Rated 3.53 out of 10 on the funny scale by Funnybox visitors.

19) Can't stick their heads out of Windows 2000.

18) Fetch command not available on all platforms.

17) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

16) Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.

15) Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

14) Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

13) Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

12) Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.

11) Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

10) Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.

9) Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.

8) Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

7) 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...

6) Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.

5) SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test. out of the question!

4) Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.

3) Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.

2) Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

1) Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws

[paulhiles]

matauri wrote
....

= makes mental
I'm thinking the same Mik! ;o)
another notebook filled!

Paul

[matauri]

Well I saw the humour in it ! ;-)


Cindy

[mikmik]

Matauri
Well I saw the humour in it ! ;-)

Me to, Mat :o)

I just have always liked that phrase since you coined it, and seeing that you didn't use it there, I did for you lol

It means 'mental reminder', yes?

[EJRS.COM]

Did you know that there are more doggie bags in America than there are dogs?

[mikmik]

Most dogs have at least three bags, one for formal occassions, one for travelling, and a backpack.

[matauri]

I just have always liked that phrase since you coined it, and seeing that you didn't use it there, I did for you lol
It means 'mental reminder', yes?
LOL...yes it does Mik :-)
I never knew it would become infamous !

<< makes mental -- to restrain over active imagination ;-)



Cindy

[EJRS.COM]

If canines and felines conquered the world we would be in a doggone catastrophic situation.

[danielle v2.1b]

Hiyas,

This conversation thread is so funny... thought u might like this joke 2:

DOG'S DIARY / CAT'S DIARY

EXCERPTS FROM DOG'S DIARY:
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY:
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

Cats rule!
Dani x