Hi

I know that you should really only have one offer on a squeeze page, but I'm offering to let people subscribe to a newsletter that teaches how to advertise effectively and a free competion to win cash prizes of $200 and $100.

The thing is that I need this competition so that people have an extra incentive to use my tell a friend form.

I've also got a funny vid and was wondering if this might confuse things?

What do you think please? Here's the link
1Stop-Advertising.com - FREE. Proven, Profitable Advertising Mini-Course and Advertising Tips, Absolutely FREE.

Thanks everyone

Jim (Phil actually!)

Confusing? Yes.
Underline means "link" on the web. You have lots of words underlined that are not links.
I have no idea of how I would benefit from providing my name/email.
I looked at your homepage and still have no clue.
I then clicked on the links at the bottom of page and it all looks very suspicious to me.

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Dave Barnes
+1.303.744.9024
http://www.marketingtactics.com
sitting in my basement with my iMac

Hi

Thanks for your input Dave.

I thought links are normally blue.

The hint is in the title about the benefits of the newsletter.

Cheers

I'm familiar with squeeze pages, and this does fit the convention. I'm familiar with the tell-a-friend structure, and this page is not badly constructed (for response, not respecting web designer sensibilities). In other words, I probably see the same test results you do, and your page adheres to those test results.

And given I have read and understand response-driven design techniques I can't fathom the "funny" video. It seems completely off-topic, distracting, throws the visual flow of the headline section out of whack ....and seems to violate every principle of response driven layout technique I've ever heard any copywriter talk about.

And even if there were something new that came out in the last day or two I didn't hear about -- nothing on the rest of the page even hints that the video and letter go together.

Also, as you may know, there's a controversy in the copywriting community over mega-headlines. I'm not against long headlines. I am against the mega headline that tries to jam the entire letter into one, bad, run-on sentence ....which breathlessly run on-and-on ...set in bold type

At least you didn't overdose on exclamation points.

I would suggest a layout makeover. Adjust the logo to look smaller or less distracting from the headline. Rearrange or otherwise redesign the headline section for readability. And remove the absolutely irrelevant video.

I don't have and examples of great squeeze pages, however this one has a good layout.

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Design Crux - infographic design,
content strategy Visual Merchandising online

Dcrux

Thanks very much. That was really helpful.

Off to work I go to make some changes!

Re the video; I can see exactly what you're saying, but the idea is to give people another reason to tell their friends about the site, so I might say "Tell your friends about this funny vid and free advertising course and give yourself the chance to win $200 or $100 at the same time"

What do you think?

Cheers

Hi Dcrux

I've done everything you said except for removing the video

What do you think please?

1Stop-Advertising.com - FREE. Proven, Profitable Advertising Mini-Course and Advertising Tips, Absolutely FREE.

Cheers

Phil

Well, the layout is an improvement. I don't agree on the video, but it is a testable proposition. Test with and without, see what happens.

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Design Crux - infographic design,
content strategy Visual Merchandising online

Thanks Dcrux

This is going to come across as blatant ignorance, but does this type of site work? I've seen so many of them in the last year or so I automatically click back or close the browser when I land on one. The page screams "give me your e-mail address" from the top line.
From a design point of view, it certainly seems effective though. Hope you make some money!

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Andy Fletcher, not the famous one.

Honestly... These type of sites turn me off. People buy from people they trust and from credible sources. Would you be better off positioning yourself as an expert by giving away some free tips so we want more?

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