Check out this particular page

Steven Glover · #1 (**permalink**) 09-07-2006, 03:46 PM

I was hoping maybe some of you would look at my page and see if it flows good I am worried people maybe getting lost on it. The page is http://www.veradice.com/vemps1.cfm

noel_x99 · #2 (**permalink**) 09-07-2006, 10:10 PM

It seems to me that you are assuming that the reader already understands the problem. Why not start with "Tired of paying for ineffective email campaigns?" or something like that. You're asking them to click to join before you've sold them on why yours is better or different.

When I look at the first paragraph, I see "What is Vera Tracker" and I see the word unlimited. My first thought might be, "Oh, email marketing...well my service is unlimited...not that different" and you could lose me there.

Steven Glover · #3 (**permalink**) 09-09-2006, 01:51 PM

Thats a great suggestion. I will refocus on the content. :)

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