Agree. Using an image for paragraphs of text?!
The site puts out a lot of the right data. Unfortunately it's an information age and data must be placed in a context. You make a promising beginning in a couple of places, for example "I understand how important computers are for your lifestyle." To put it in what I can only imagine to be the quaintly blunt western way "...and your point would be. ...." Putting those things which are so obvious as to not be worth putting into words is not western -- it's tech marketoid drone.
24/7 isn't information. Try "Our reputation is to return your call -- day or night -- within 12 (twelve) minutes." There's a lot of hat, time to add the cattle.
The site is "image" conscious -- that much is apparent. Aside from the technical concerns, make sure the communication is what they call "on message." Coherent. Crisp. Concise. Say what you mean and mean what you say in true western style. ...because when you're telling the truth, it ain't braggin'
|