Hi all,

If you have a few minutes I would really appreciate a review of my site: SoftwareShield Technologies. All constructive criticism welcomed and accepted greatfully.

We sell software licensing and copy protection tools to Windows software developers.

Thanks.
Zack.

The site looks good, layout seems to make sense. Copy seems to get to the point. FAQ seems useful. The real information would come from sitting a user down, and observing as they go through the site.

It is possible you may find you are, for example, not playing up how easy it is to integrate your product with existing projects/tools. It may be the three difference between you and a leading competitor should be featured on the front page. Possibly there is some need to quantify how much revenue is lost by inssuficient home-grown solutions.

These may not be evident from a glance at look and feel of the site.

The site is at that point where users trying to complete tasks is better than a look-see. There may be objections not covered, or desirability issues not obvious to a cursory check. And, like security products, it's usually not obvious where the real flaws lie without some rigorous real-world tests.

Zack,

I have to disagree with DCrux about the directness of the copy.

Your lead just isn't effective, and your headline is worse. I see what you're trying to do with your narrative opening; that's a very effective technique when done right, but just looks amateurish when done badly. It's a tough trick (even for an experienced professional), and I don't think you're pulling it off. The end result is that you're not getting your unique benefits across to the reader.

Don't lead with your product features. Lead with how you're providing your customers with a good night's sleep.

You at least seem to understand that you have to lead with emotional empathy; that's good. You're just using too many words to do it. I'd suggest an exercise: sit down and summarize the primary *emotional* benefit you provide to your customers, using only three words. Don't use any words that contain more than two syllables.

It's not as easy as it looks, but when you get it, that's the seed of your top headline. That's your lead.

__________________
Robert Warren
Copywriter, Editor, Business Communications Consultant

"Ten Copywriting Blunders That Are Poisoning Your Website"
FREE Report: http://www.rswarren.com/downloads.php

Thank you for the input!

Yes - I think the improvements to made at this point are (primarily) in the "message".

Thanks again.

Zack.

Excellent comments!

Thank you very much for the excellent constructive criticism. I will work on trying to convey the (abeit same) message more succinctly and more professionally using the emotional approach. Thank you again.

Zack.