Common Sense Relationships

[belleinc]

Sam Walton said by enriching others, I enrich myself…which is in essence the same as “help enough people get what they want, and you will inevitably get what you want.” This is a key principle that as a internet marketer we hear over and over, but I don’t think many people really understand it.
I was listening to my boy again, Zig Ziglar and he spoke on this very same topic. Zig talked and explained what EVERY one wants in life. Everyone! Everyone wants to be happy, healthy, wants friends, peace of mind, security, to be reasonably prosperous, wants good family relationships, and hope that the future will be better. Whether we want to admit that or not, that’s what we all want. Zig also made a profound statement when he said “Perception is the cruelest form of reality.” Zig summed it up by saying that we need to understand the perception of other people. In other words, put yourself in other peoples shoes, and treat people how you’d want to be treated. People want to feel important. That should be common sense, but common sense isn’t common.
Zig tells a story about how he was out to dinner with some colleagues and everytime the waitress would bring something out to him, salad, drink, anything he would thank her, and give her a warm smile. No one else at the table even acknowledged her presence, she was merely the help to them. The time for dessert came along, and everyone else at the table got a very small portion of cake and ice cream, whereas Zig’s portion was considerable larger. So the others at the table said “Wow Zig, you must know that lady.” Zig replied, “No, but I know alot about her.” The others asked, “How so…?” Zig spoke and said “Well I recognize that she is a human being, wants to be happy, healthy, wants friends, peace of mind, security, to be reasonably prosperous, wants good family relationships, hope that the future will be better, she works really hard and appreciates a simple please and thank you!”
Zig wasn’t treating the lady with any special treatment. Nor was he treating her nicely just to receive a larger portion of ice cream. Its just common sense to treat people nice, and with respect.
Studies have shown that your immune system is automatically strengthened by having love, hope and faith instilled within you.
Robert Updegraff said “In terms of downright happiness, the returns per minute from giving are far greater then the returns for getting.”
You never know what difference you may make on someones life. That waitress Zig made acquaintance with could have been contemplating suicide, but with a little kindness shown, decided otherwise. When we are givers, things do happen for us.
Andrew Carnegie has been known for having 43 millionaires work for him. Someone asked him one day, “How did you get 43 self sufficient, millionaires to work for you?” Carnegie answered “Well, they weren’t millionaires when they started to work for me.” Carnegie continued “You develop people the same way you mine gold. When you go to a goldmine, you remove tons and tons of dirt to find gold…but you don’t go in there looking for the dirt, you go in looking for the gold.” But what’s even more interesting is that you will find whatever it is you go in there looking for.
Zig closed the seminar with what I truly believe in my heart is a way of life, not just a parable or story. Zig tells a story about a man given a choice to go to either heaven or hell. He goes to heaven first and he sees where there is tons and tons of food and fruits and vegetables, and people just having a ball. Goes to hell and there is the same food, but the people there are so sad and miserable. So the man asks because he doesn’t understand, how come if in both places people have the same food, same amount one place can be so happy and the other so miserable. Then it is explained to the man that the reason the people in heaven were so happy was because they had a 3 foot fork and was helping each other to eat and feast upon the plethora of food, whereas in hell, no one wanted t help anybody.
Whether you are self-employed or working for someone, having and maintaining good relationships isn’t rocket science. Just treat people how you want to be treated, listen to them, and be kind. If you help enough people get what they want, you will enrich your life along the way. I promise you!

[Dcrux]

ust treat people how you want to be treated, listen to them

This is called the golden rule. It's trite, simplistic, and except in the rare case where you are the customer (almost never) a recipe for marketing disaster.

Software and web developers are notorious for using the "the customer is just like us" to foist off the very worst interface designs on users. For within this seeming wisdom is the ingredient for mischief: If I'm just like you, what need have I to do any research, user testing, or find out about your special circumstances or needs?

None. None at all. And companies seize on that to slash user research and marketing budgets.

Worst of all, it's in direct conflict with helping people get what they want. You have to find out what people want before you can give it to them. And with all due respect to the names dropped in the OP, what they don't say is rule number one: Marketing starts when you assume you are not the customer. Because then you are in the proper frame of mind to listen to the customer with the intent of getting to know your customer.

The next largest segment is the company who thinks the customer and user is a blithering idiot. Witness the marketing flops of Microsoft Bob and "Clippy," the unhelpfully helpful cartoon paperclip in Office.

These companies say "we listen." They use listening to allow the irate customer to blow off steam, while nothing changes. They listen, but nothing that isn't from the company's own self interest and self obsession is actually heard.

Once again, the seductive premise is the customer is an unwanted intrusion into the company talking to itself, about itself, like a wacked-out street person. And it is from that disturbing lack of inquiry into the customer most services and products are designed.

Want to let someone know -- really know -- you want them to get what they want? Try appreciative inquiry into their world view. Show you share that world view. And then you will get what you want.

Is it rocket science? No. But it is a vanishing small little effort. You have to develop some interest in someone outside yourself. And that, sad to say, makes it distasteful for the lazy narcissists gobbling down pablum dressed up in the golden rule.

Marketers (the real ones) understand the platinum rule trumps the golden rule. The Platinum Rule teaches us to treat others the way they want to be treated. That's marketing. And the realization common sense is anything but common.