There was this guy, Jeffery, who worked at Miami SeaQuarium. He was grateful for the job because he'd fallen on hard times, and boy! was he ever not gonna mess this one up.

So there he was, one fateful day, just feeding the dolphins and minding his own business, when -- but who marched up? THE BOSS! Reeking of cigars, Jeffery noticed, as usual.

"Y-yessir..?" the young man stammered around a cough.

"Jeffery, take a look in that tank, and tell me what you see!"

"S-sir, they're..." Jeffery, leaning down closer to peer through the water's skin, only blushed.

"I want you to go down to the beach this instant, Jeffery -- don't come back without a whole bag!" With this, Jeffery found his hands most impolitely jammed full with a -- an old pillowcase?

"...Sir?"

"Go to the beach, right now, and I want that thing back in my hands and overflowing with baby seagulls before lunch! We've got a whole mess of second-graders coming in by two, and if they see the dolphins doing that, we'll all be out of a job!" ranted The Boss, already turning on his heel to fume somewhere else.

"Seagulls... a whole bag..." Jeffery mused at his employer's back. His loitering didn't last too long -- the guy needed this job. Who knew what The Boss was on about, anyway? How would some baby birds stop the dolphins from... "enjoying each other", as they were? Ah, no matter -- with a final check of his watch, he was off.

After hailing a cab he couldn't strictly afford, Jeffery climbed in the back, gave his directions, and settled in for his long-ish ride to the shore. He fidgeted; he bade the cabbie to change the radio station several times on their seemingly-eternal journey, being as anxious and confused as he was.

After a while of discovering just how much he and his companion's tastes in music did not gel, Jeffery irritably gave in and stared out the window. He left the driver alone and vegetated as News Radio droned on about some large and dangerous animal that'd supposedly escaped the Florida Zoo. Frankly, he was too burned out -- at ten o' clock, too! -- to care.

Soon enough, Jeffery, too poor to tip his underwhelmed escort, was left alone at the beach. So, his search began!

Discombobulated (and oddly jaded, considering the strange task before him), Jeffery entertained his mind as he set to "work". Oh, the unforgiving Florida sun. Why hadn't he -- OW, they bite?! -- stayed in Ohio? That was a good song... he hummed the tune as he did as The Boss said. He scooped the tiny, adorable birds, one by one, into the pillowcase, making sure they could breathe. He loved animals dearly; this is why, for as obtuse as The Boss could be, Jeffery really wanted to keep his job. Not to mention he needed it!

After an indeterminable time (but one happily terminating far before noon), Jeffery had filled his bag as full as he dared. The little peeps emitting from the pillowcase were heartbreaking, and if The Boss wanted more, he could come get them himself! There were only so many things our Jeffery would do for a paycheck.

Impressed with his resolve, he stood straight and peered around for a pay-phone, sliding his wallet out of his back pocket. Spying one, he started for it, flipping his wallet open -- only to stop short as he saw that he'd somehow managed to lose his last twenty sometime after he'd gotten to the beach! No doubt it'd fallen out as he'd stopped for a bird -- at leat the Atlantic Ocean was richer now!

With a colorful oath, he (most resourcefully) changed course and headed for a clump of trees thick enough to constitute a forest of Palms.

You see, Jeffery was no stranger to Miami, as much as he missed Toledo -- and so, he knew he had just enough time, if he walked as the seagull flew (hardee-har-har), to get back to the SeaQuarium before all heck broke loose. Gently hoisting his treasury of seabirds over his shoulder, and arming sweat from his forehead, he peeked at the horizon and headed east-northeast.

Oh, it was a long walk! Who knew that the trees got so thick here, in the middle of downtown Miami..? Well, at least there was something that passed for a footpath; he embarked upon it at a slow jog. That was, until he heard some curious rumbling.

He glanced up for a sign of a thunderstorm -- wouldn't that figure? -- and saw nothing. As his gaze again lowered to straight-ahead, he saw... something, up ahead. The rumbling, despite the blameless sky, intensified.

Jeffery slowed his pace to a tentative, quiet shuffle, squinting and pouring with sweat, until he identified it -- he saw the very thing he'd heard about on the radio when he'd hardly been listening! There, in all its glory, was the lion the broadcaster had announced as having gone missing... lying completely across Jeffery's path and licking his chops, albeit lazily.

Could Jeffery's day get any worse? he wondered. Then, he realized -- a slow, crafty smile spreading across his face -- what a find!

As visions of trophies and medals and never-needing-to-work-agains danced in his head, he put on that special "charm" he had around animals. He crept forward, cooing softly to the lion. Bless the baby birds; they must've sensed the lion, too, for their peeps were replaced by a nervous silence (the poor dears!). All in all, Jeffery just had this feeling. Surely, it'd all work out, this crazy goose-chase of a day! Lord Above knew that Jeffery deserved it.

Much to his shock and joy, Jeffery's road block did little as he approached. Perhaps the hot sun had tired him? The lion only panted, tongue lolling and dripping with saliva, as he rolled upon his side. If Jeffery was careful enough, he could step right over the animal -- how he would be praised for his heroism (and wasn't the big kitty kind of sweet?)!

Holding his breath, Jeffery kept his pace and tone even... until, voila! -- he'd done it -- he'd stepped right over the lion! He peeked over his shoulder, checking to see that the great cat was still half-asleep, and grinned. Indeed he was, and now, all he had to do was haul butt and get back to the 'Quarium, deliver his freight, report his find, and he'd be good as g--

But our hero was arrested, long before he could get back to work -- before he could get ten feet further, in fact. Why?

(Highlight just below this line for his crime.)

Transporting Young Gulls across a State Lion for Immoral Porpoises...

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