Phrases that mean nothing..

[paulhiles]

You must know the sort of thing I mean... the pseudo-web business sites that come out with gems such as "brand strategic initiatives" OR "benchmark proactive networks"
Well I think I've discovered their source of inspiration!
Check out this ingenious application...
and then I want to see you all really "orchestrate proactive users" LOL!!!

Paul

[mikmik]

Instantly into my 'Favorites'!
I got this for my "Reasons to use Factor1" page:

grow sticky initiatives

LOL

[Dcrux]

Dack is an oldie but a goodie, so is Dilbert.
It's not as funny (or maybe more so) when Adams pretends to be a consultant for Logitech. It gives one a whole new perspective on the term "information age."

Unfortunately quite a few web sites do this with a straight face.

But wait, information technology is not simply a polite fiction. Not disimilar to a spellcheck or site validation you can run a buzzword check on sites as well.

[vilesilencer]

hahaha, priceless...

you can't call yourself an IT business these days without at least one 3-word acronym can you? hehehe

[rambodog]

Great. A domain name generator!

[sultan]

I LOVE it! This is obviously an improved version of the two word generator they used to develop the "paradigm shift" 10 or 15 years ago.

'Scuse me while I expedite impactful e-markets.

[Steven Glover]

Man I am gonna use that ten minutes before every meeting I go into.

I am going to that conference in Orlando. I should use this as a study aid.

[computers]

Tooooo funny! How about one of these for my site: harness customized functionalities
harness customized technologies
harness customized web-readiness

LOL

[acornwebworks]

Sorry, I'm too busy deploying intuitive initiatives as part of my efforts to generate dot-com metrics to check out that website :-)

[lshatto]

Finally a quality tool to finish the firm profile with:
At inf-inet Business Solutions we continually strive to streamline cross-platform relationships as we unleash robust applications to ensure our clients ability to exploit world-class e-markets. As we redefine strategic applications and deploy open-source e-services, we strive to better deliver one-to-one experiences that facilitate and utilize synergistic dot-com mindshare.

As we innovate virtual e-business with our matrix cross-media e-commerce solutions, we deploy frictionless interfaces and target granular web-readiness to better streamline cutting-edge synergies for our diverse clientele. Contact us today to expedite collaborative experiences for your company and empower real-time e-markets while we help you streamline cutting-edge infrastructures

I can now double the corporate web development hourly rate!

[ChristinaS]

Love it! I could swear I've seen this same text somewhere prominent before! LOL!

[Mukul]

Excellent. I would always think that its been pulled out from here from whenever I find these stuff written anywhere :D

[TrafficProducer]

3-word acronym

BUY= Best You Get

~~~
The “Fufl*valve integrates with the power energy online growtho provide enchanted seek and find.

MMX=Marketing Managers excuse
Hyper thread = longer wires
WAP= Where the Arial Provided
HTML= Here Today More Links

*Trade Mark :)

[ldyguique]

I went around and around with the lady from the consulting firm brought in to help us do resumes for our pending firing -- argued that the language she was suggesting was flatout "corporate doublespeak aka bullshit" and had no meaning; therefore, I refused to use it. (I wasn't the most popular employee in the 2-day workshop, imagine that!)

Originally Posted by sultan

. . .This is obviously an improved version of the two word generator they used to develop the "paradigm shift" 10 or 15 years ago.

I think that may be an urban legend.

Actually, paradigm shift has a fairly profound meaning, it was just overused and applied indisciminantly. We all have a series of perspectives that are more or less integrated into a wholelistic worldview. It ties a whole series of secondary personal taste issues in with current knowledge and our overal ethos. The less that the parts are integrated and thought-through consciously, the more hypocritical we appear. But, it IS our working personality and how we interact with the world around us.

A paradigm shift is when some new information hits us smack between the eyes and forces us to wrench our entire worldview in a different direction -- frequently, necessitating a myriad of minor changes in various perspectives in order to once again become an integrated personality. Not all paradigm shifts last as frequently "the sum of the parts" refuse to change.

This is why habits are hard to break, resolutions are tough to keep, and we re-marry the same partner, only with a new name. People who suddenly gain religion are on the edge of a paradigm shift as they attempt to integrate new found belief with old ways of doing things. They are usually highly annoying to be around during the attempt to change as they quote and quote and quote in a vain attempt to adopt. Five types of people on the edge of a shift to avoid: 1) those going through a religious epiphany; 2) those going through counseling; 3) those who buy a new self-help book; and, 4) those in the throes of a marriage-breakup; and, 5A) new methods to "monetize end-to-end functionalities," aka "fire all of the employees and send their jobs offshore."

Now, back to the topic --
I looked at the list of words and several stood out as so newly invented as to have no meaning at all; sure enough, m-w.com confirmed this:

Suggestions for disintermediate:
1. disinterested
2. disintegrated
3. disinterestedly
4. disinherited
5. disorientated
6. disintegrating
7. disinterests
8. disintermediation
9. disinteresting
10. disintegrative

reintermediate is the kissin' cousin

btw: intermediate means: being or occurring at the middle place, stage, or degree or between extremes

So, I reckon that one could dis- and re- and maybe even un- . . .but why would one? Oh, I know -- so that one can end-to-end something.


Suggestions for envisioneer (visionary apparently is insufficient):
1. envisioned
2. envisions
3. envision
4. invasions
5. invasion
6. innovational
7. envisioning
8. innovations
9. innovation
10. invocation

and, last, but not least: Suggestions for infomediaries:
1. informalities
2. infirmaries
3. uniformities
4. omnifarious
5. informedly
6. informality
7. infomercials
8. informers
9. anaphrodisiac
10. anaphrodisiacs

Personally, I wonder where omnifarious is on the list -- it's obviously a most excellent candidate for corporatespeak. (Etymology: Late Latin omnifarius, from Latin omni- + -farius (as in multifarius diverse) -- more at MULTIFARIOUS
: of all varieties, forms, or kinds) Perhaps, I should send a letter off to . . . .HR? Marketing? Administrative assistant to the CEO? My goodness, should the Porn industry be notified that there is an anaphrodisiac aka "facilitate frictionless partnerships?"

[Maxlamenace]

Playing around with http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html I realized that most so called e-marketeers and internet GURU's must use it...LOL.

I love it and added it to my favorites too.

Great discovery.

[paulzon]

I got "embrace backend solutions" ... what a charming phrase!
Paul http://www.zonicweb.net

[Dcrux]

There's a new resource: The Content-Free Buzzword-Compliant Vocabulary List. This is more in keeping with the section heading of peeves and their solutions -- it helps you translate meaningless software buzzwords into information.

Two of the worst offenders on the list are “seamless” and “integrated.” Everything, it seems, is “seamlessly integrated” with everything else. Why, then, is there so much work for companies that provide integration capabilities!

Software is far from alone. Branding and business identity top another list. Far too many think a business identity is a logo and a meaningless phrase wrongly called a slogan or tagline. And here's a slogan generator, results which can be seen, well, everywhere. Recently I saw a cosmetic site whose product produces "optimum results." Not even a hint as to what those results might be.

Phrases that mean nothing are often shrugged off as "the other guy's problem." After looking at a few hundred sites you find out meaningless phrases are the norm.

[garymortimer]

Brilliant thankyou very much. Probably the funniest thing I've seen for ages on the web.

Cheers

Gary