Thanks for your responses. They've just proved to me that I know nothing about how exchange and mail servers operate, because I think I only roughly understand what you are saying... :o(
From what I can work out, what's happening is this. The domain "theburlingtonhotel.com" is registered with my Webiste Host's mail server which is where the 'MX Records'? are located (don't even really know what they are). Anyway, when users at my organisation try to send mail, the SMTP used is our own server to which "theburlingtonhotel.com" is not registered and so AOL sees it as being spam because in theory my server does not have the right to send emails using this domain name. Only my Host's SMTP servers are allowed to.
Which is why, when I tried to send an email externally to an AOL user, routing the SMTP in outlook for
chris@theburlingtonhotel.com to route through auth.smtp.1and1.co.uk instead of via my exchange server, it seemed to work. Hence the problem IS with our server which, as brian.mark stated, is in our building.
Nottheusual1, I'm not sure how to check if my mail server has a reverse DNS entry. I had a look on the internet and am guessing it's by opening my Default Virtual SMTP Server in Exchange system Manager, right click Properties dialog box, on the Delivery tab, click Advanced and then check the box "Perform Reverse DNS lookup on incoming messages"?
Had a look at what you mentioned about an SPF TXT entry and looked at
http://spf.pobox.com/ - Very interesting stuff and what they say about me getting a lot of spam from myself or even users who dont even exist on my domain happens quite often to me too. So it could be this, but I can't quite understand what it asks for on the wizard (again going back to MX records etc) :o( Sorry, I'm sure I mentioned my knowledge of Exchange is basic to non existent...
My Server has a private IP 192.168.16.xxx as advised by Microsoft, and we have a static IP supplied by our ISP Plus.net on our DSL connection which provides internet access to the rest of the users through a router connected to a secure gateway and then directly to our server.
Brian.mark, I can speak to my Hosting company to find out more info about setting up the reverse DNS, and the class C block of IP's and RDNS responses? No idea what they are but they should I suppose.
How did you setup your change the mappings so that your mail clients talked to the public address of the web server?
Really sorry about the EXTREMELY long post, just want to make sure that I'm including everything I've done so that I don't waste peoples time too much...