DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

NORWEGIAN SOCIALISM
You have two cows!
The prime minister goes to a EU conference and learns that the government
can tax you heavily because a cow represents a taxable object, but to be
kind he tells the Norwegian government give back some of the tax in the
form of farm subsidies to keep farmers alive. But it will never be enough
to keep it going, so you sell the cows, move to the city, pay your tax and
buy milk from EU. Which is exactly how EU planned it in the first place,
but your prime minister nor the government understood it, neither did
you: Did they not give us money ? Oh so kind!

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized
and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives
to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish..
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think
is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

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Well, either that or the bulls really enjoy it! Cute one though

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That's the best variation of that one that I've seen yet, Kjell!

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It looks GOOD and FUNNY on paper but I don't agree with CAPITALISM mentioned as AMERICAN STYLE.

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Yes, very good! Glad to see it expanded so well.

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What about Chineese communist capitalism?

Anybody that can define that?

And I miss:

Australia
Canada
England

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I call them the world's most hypocritical communists. Perhaps they can spread the wealth and forgive some of those treasury bills we owe to them?

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I wouldn't worry too much about those treasury bills, cw.

They'll be worthless, soon enough.

Can you say "Amero", boys & girls?

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Great post. The Iraqi and Californian ones made me laugh out loud.

I can't work out what the English one would be. probably a combi between Republican and Capitalism

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From what I hear from my friends in the UK, it should be something between the Iraqi and the Taliban.

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It’s funny… until reality sets in!

Kgun,… how about this for an answer…

You have two goats.
The government seizes both.
You are provided with milk and wool if you…
Breed, maintain and dress the goats like cows for export.

Hmm.... to an extent. If you live in the city then probably the Taliban one. Its probably only a matter of time before that part of a cow is taxable.

Gordon Brown doesn't read this forum does he??

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AUSTRALAN LABOUR PARTY

You have 6 goats,
You are not allowed to smoke within 20 metres of them.
You are restricted from legally eating under age goats.
It is illegal to publish Legal Goat age requirements
milking is illegal unless you equally extract the same quantity of milk from male and female goats.
Each goat must have a fire alarm attached -
Transporting goats without a seat belt will attract a fine of $200
Teenage girls are not allowed to consume more than one goat on the premises
consuming goats off the premises will attract a $25,000
Supplying a goat for consumption will attract a fine of $26,458
Every goat must be kept on licenced premises
Each licenced premises mus have an approved manager on duty at all time while live goats are located on site.
Approved licences are available for $750 (only available from Perth Tafe College western Australia all states - three day course)
Failure to produce goat licence fine $600
Applying for licence with undue care and attention fine $65
Transporting a goat licence intestate fine $25
Failure to have current required permits and displaying all and any relevant legal requirement on any premises deemed to be capable of housing goats. fine $7.500

Note; it is a legal requirement that your safety superviser records that you have read this post. Failure to have your superviser witness and complete the apropriate form is a serious offence if convicted - Maximunm sentence 4 years.

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You missed a Libertarian view

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Like being caught between Iraq and a hard place?

Sorry...

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And well you should be!

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For :

1) The Supervisor;
2) The Underling;
3) Both;
4) Someone else; or,
5) All of the above.

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Deepsand asked
For :

"1) The Supervisor;
2) The Underling;
3) Both;
4) Someone else; or,
5) All of the above. "

Whoever is most vulnerable deep. This is the way law is heading generally.

I think In Queensland new laws are written on behalf of the insurance and legal industry.

Step (1) make it compulsory to have a business insurance that covers your expenses and fines if you
are caught. (to protect employees from undue hardship)
step (2) Hand out a fines (to employees) with no due care or attention.
step (3) let the insurance and legal departments sort it out
step (4) Remind the insurance and legal lobby's of these laws before every election.
step (5) Blame foreign competition for the increasing the bankruptcy rate.
step (6) Abdicate all liability and pass it on to the workers by insuring that at no time is it possible to
complete any task without some rule infringement.

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So, the answer is no. 5, "All of the above." No surprise there.

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I'm from the land of the FREE. Our Members of Parliament were caught with their hands (and feet and faces and wives and siblings) in the till; and admitted, eventually, they'd maybe misunderstood the law a bit so they got embarassed, shuffled around some tax payers money, quit high profile positions etc. and they're still free. Good to see the politicians and puppet media persuing the real villains: dole (social security) scroungers and invalidity benefit cheats; force them to work, send them to jail, hang them. After all, the common man (even an honest one) is the real enemy... right?