This is only meant for entertainment.
Google was born in 1995 as a son of a Meta tag slave. The other search engines ruled over him till one day they deemed to kill off all whom were not like them. Google was taken away and lead downstream where he was found by two brothers who raised him like their own. Google learned the ways of the other search engines, but he had a higher calling. Google vowed to release his people from the bondage of the meta tags and bring them to a land where they would have relevant search results, a group of rules to create their web pages by, and as long as they followed these rules they would get the heavenly rewards of top search placement. But if they didn't they would be penalized and cast out to serve an eternity in Google hell. Google had a long fight in front of him as the other search engines shunned him out and started dropping off his followers. Through all this the Google followers stood together and followed Google out of the bondage to what they were told would be a better place. Google realized he had a problem, the words he was saying were only that, words. There was nothing written for his people to follow. He knew the way, but how could he tell all? He needed to write the most important rules down, but how and what rules? Google ventured alone up Mount Sinai and for months on end he sat writing what have now become the web master guidelines. When Google went back down the mountain he found his people in a chaos. His words had been forgotten, the people had been overcome with the promises of keyword stuffing, black hat
SEO and link swapping. Google got outraged and shouted 'YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF THIS NEW WORLD AND YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF THESE RULES' and he slammed them to the ground. The people, having seen what they have done, went over to gather up the broken guidelines and place them on a page where the world could see, read and follow them. Google realized at that point that very few would be able to follow these rules to a tee as the temptation to stray off was too great. But what could he do? He had to came up with a plan on how to save his people, so once they saw the error in their ways they could come back to the path of righteousness. Google thought long and hard, then it came to him. "I can make a reconsideration page" to where my people can come and get forgiveness". And it was so and the world, was good.
Today not everyone believes in the Webmaster Guidelines nor does everyone follow the simple rules set in place to get the heavenly results. We save people everyday from Google hell in hopes that one day people will see that their lives would be better if they only followed these simple rules set forth in the guidelines. Until then we will keep preaching our message and try to save as many as we can.
Hope you enjoyed my story.
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07-26-2008, 11:03 AM
A Google Story "religiously themed"
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