Here are great actual call center conversation

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator:&nbsap; ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!

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Australian travel visas | Australian visa services

you're a funny man jabo!

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Here is something that happened to me while I was working as a DQ operator for a company that was not allowed to search by name, only by business category. (BT was at that time the only firm allowed to search by business name.)

Caller: "Can you help me find the number of my friend, please?"
Me: "I'll try sir. What business are you looking for?"
Caller: "That's just it, you see... I can't remember the name of the business."
Me: "Well, we aren't allowed to search by name, only type of business. What type of business does your friend run?"
Caller: "I can't remember what type of business he runs. Sorry."
ME: What is his name?"
Caller: "I can't remember."
By this time I am wondering if it is a hoax call.
Me: "Well, can you remember which part of the country he is in?"
Caller: "No. I can't." (Pause)
Caller: (In VERY sad voice) "I... I'm not being much help, am I?"
ME: "Not to worry, sir! Tell you what, why don't you ring off, go and make yourself a nice cup of tea and have a think, and see if you can remember after that?"

I had to go off line for a minute to unwind the knot in my brain...

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Thats a weird call Martin... I would have hanged up on him if it was me....

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Australian travel visas | Australian visa services

I was more tolerant than some of my colleagues, I think. Like the poor guy who had a speak impediment that made what he was asking for sound like an obscene word. The women at the call centre kept cutting his call off. By the time he got through to me he was very angry. After I got him his number he asked me why I had not cut him off when my female colleagues had?

"Oh, I'm an older man, they are just a bunch of silly girls!" That amused him and calmed him considerably.

Also, there was a caller with a very strong Glaswgian accent. I asked him to speak again and he did so in a very exaggerated tone. "Did you understand THAT? He asked, savagely. I replied that I had, and that the fact that I had had difficulty understand him was entirely my fault, as I heard everything through an extremely thick West Midlands accent.

There was a brief pause before he gave a guffaw of laughter and said: "Good one! I have never heard that one before! Och, I must remember that one!" He was still laughing as he put his phone down.

It was then that I found out that people in Scotland do use the word "och" in conversation.

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"och" lol
well, that was very professional of you Martin... good work should I say

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Australian travel visas | Australian visa services

Thanks, Jabo.

I enjoyed my stint as a DQ operator. I was taken on to write content for a website that never happened for one reason or another, so ended up on the phones. I eventually got back into journalism though.

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Hi, this is very interesting conversation about call center.

When I was plant manager for a company in the Los Angeles area, we were served papers for a lawsuit, claiming that our customer service representative had been abusive and refused to honor a warranty issue. After nearly a week of reviewing tapes, we finally found the subject service call.

The customer was demanding that we replace a $3,000 stove that had been damaged by "faulty" design or manufacture. They had hooked up a natural gas stove to an LP system (which will give you a pilot light abour 10" high... you can imagine what it does for the burners), set the oven on 375F, tossed in a roast, and gone out to the pool. Someone finally noticed the odor of scorched paint and melted plastic, and called the fire department, in time to keep the kitchen from going up in flames.

They readily admitted all this to our CS operator, who responded with (paraphrasing), "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that's not covered under our warranty. But I wouldn't worry. I think you'll probably be much happier going back to eating your meat raw."

The gal that told him that was our best CS rep., and I couldn't bring myself to condemn her - I'd have probably said something along the lines of Jabo's last example. We had the guy's lawyer in to listen to the tape, and he immediately requested the suit be dropped.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce!

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