NEW Game - Page 21

Martinscholes · #**1001** (**permalink**) 11-23-2008, 07:18 PM

1029, and back to work tomorrow. Ah, well!

We had snow in Shropshire last night. Quite deep, it was, too, but the torrential rain soon put paid to the cover of snow!

jabo · #**1002** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 06:27 AM

1030
I need a longer vacation, longer that 2 days, well, wait, its not vacation, it was just weekend....guess that is better than going on a longer one(loosing a job)

ctabuk · #**1003** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 06:35 AM

1031 Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Yeah, the bloody thing found the freezer open and ate all our Christmas goodies.

Dubbya · #**1004** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 10:31 AM

1032 - Rotten geese, always eating the Christmas goodies. The same thing happens at my house.

ctabuk · #**1005** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 10:52 AM

1033 I actually caught it doing it. It replied - 'I was only taking a gander'

jawn_tech · #**1006** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 05:12 PM

1034

At which point ctabuk said, "nice try. Now your goose is cooked."

WickedGoddess · #**1007** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 11:22 PM

1035-- my tummy is aching.. I'm not hungry tho

incrediblehelp · #**1008** (**permalink**) 11-24-2008, 11:23 PM

I might as well get back in 1036

ctabuk · #**1009** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 04:39 AM

1037 Welcome from the artic north - I am sitting in my metal tub, having a bath in the artic circle. That's better. I see a penquin, Penquin suit on, microphone ready 'Good Morning Mr Penquin, what are your views on the Global Warming theory?

jfrizelle · #**1010** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 05:26 AM

1038.

How long should a turkey last in the freezer? A few weeks? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning....

jabo · #**1011** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 07:00 AM

1039

^^^lol, never heard of that one before...

ctabuk · #**1012** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 07:09 AM

1040 - Cor, that's going to be a sod to gut. You need the book 'GobbledeDuck' by 'Happy Donald'

Dubbya · #**1013** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 10:40 AM

1041 - Now for the joke du jour...

"May I take your sunday lunch order?" the waiter asked.

"Yes, but first I'd like to know how do you prepare your turkeys?"

"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

ctabuk · #**1014** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 12:10 PM

1042 - LOL - I always liked the Paul Gasgoine joke. Gazza was in France at an open air restaurant the waiter said
'Would you care for an expresso?'

Gazza replied 'No, I don't read that crap, nay tits in it'

SIA · #**1015** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 07:13 PM

Guy walks into a bar......he needed 1043 stitches.

jawn_tech · #**1016** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 07:18 PM

1044

Quote:

Originally Posted by SIA

Guy walks into a bar......he needed 1043 stitches.

Hey I like that. Nice use of a joke to segway to the count. Rep points for you!

SIA · #**1017** (**permalink**) 11-25-2008, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jawn_tech

1044

Hey I like that. Nice use of a joke to segway to the count. Rep points for you!

Many Thanks 1045 of them to be exact.

ctabuk · #**1018** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 04:03 AM

1046 Back in two days - keep posting guys

jabo · #**1019** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 06:06 AM

1047
^^out on a date or something? hows about taking us along with yah...lol

jfrizelle · #**1020** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 06:10 AM

Is this date no. 1048 maybe?

AMAmanda · #**1021** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 10:07 AM

1049 How long do you think this will actually go

TrafficProducer · #**1022** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 10:23 AM

1050 turkey died in the freezer.. It got growed out by all the penguins, in the freezer

Dubbya · #**1023** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 02:29 PM

1051 - ten fiddy wun.

kgun · #**1024** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 03:04 PM

1052

Quote:

Originally Posted by ctabuk

1046 Back in two days - keep posting guys

Yes, but remove the three stars or go to the chat

.

That was a personal advice.

TrafficProducer · #**1025** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 05:17 PM

1053 See this--- Metal Tub

ldylion214 · #**1026** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 06:05 PM

1054

Happy Thanksgiving all!

~Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."~

Martinscholes · #**1027** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 08:37 PM

1055, at 00:37!

jawn_tech · #**1028** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 08:48 PM

1056

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrafficProducer

1050 turkey died in the freezer.. It got growed out by all the penguins, in the freezer

Mmm, penguin. Tastes like chicken.

WickedGoddess · #**1029** (**permalink**) 11-26-2008, 11:27 PM

1057--- I'm in twilight coz of Twilight

jabo · #**1030** (**permalink**) 11-27-2008, 06:03 AM

1058
^^is that movie any good? there was excitement about it before it went out and now, I don't hear anything about it that much

TrafficProducer · #**1031** (**permalink**) 11-27-2008, 08:05 AM

1059 "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."~

I'm thankful I'm not a Google pigeon

Mmm, penguin. Tastes like chicken. Yes but, penguins' are too hard to catch

jabo · #**1032** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:00 AM

1060
i'm off for a nice weekend with my folks later on... see yah all monday

ctabuk · #**1033** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:24 AM

1061 - Greetings. And now for my new number one hit 'The moon was yellow, and her teeth were too'

jfrizelle · #**1034** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:25 AM

1062

Speaking of penguins...

There's a fast-food takeaway near when I live called 'The Penguin' and their burgers are lovely - but when someone who doesn't know The Penguin hears me talking about delicious penguin burgers they always look horrified...

ctabuk · #**1035** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:50 AM

If Nell Gwynne had a sister named Penny - she'd be known as Pen Gwynne

1063

jfrizelle · #**1036** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:53 AM

1064

I was introduced to a guy called "Oh No Hair" at a convention - the guy doing the introduction was a friend of Mr. No Hair so I thought it was some kind of a private joke. Then I noticed the name tag - Owen O' Heir.

ctabuk · #**1037** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 07:10 AM

1064 My wife used to work with a guy named Phil Dyer - he answered his phone 'Dyer Here'

jabo · #**1038** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 09:28 AM

^^hey you doubled 1064
1066

im off to a long night of travel.. see you guys..

ctabuk · #**1039** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 09:30 AM

1067 Opppps Safe trip

TrafficProducer · #**1040** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 10:30 AM

1068;;; (1064x2=212

When you get back the count could have jumped

Dubbya · #**1041** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 02:10 PM

1069 - All the numbers, counting, complex computations, counting errors and corrections brings the following (true) story to mind:

Shortly after we'd moved into our last house and set up a new phone number, it came to a point where "wrong numbers" were becoming a real pain. Instead of the standard, "Sorry, wrong number", I decided to take an alternative approach.

"Hello?", I said.

"Hayyyeeee, is Mary home?", the guy asked in a raspy drawn out tone. It seemed pretty obvious that he was well on his way to inebriation so I thought I'd ad lib and make the most of this seemingly golden opportunity.

"Naw, she's out walking the dog. Should be back in about 20 minutes", I said.

"Sheeez walkin the dawg? You guys got a dawg? Whut kind didja get?", he slurred.

"I got tired of listening to the ol' girl whine about it, so I took Mary down to the Humane Society and picked up a German Shepherd. She's two years old", I replied.

"Aw, I love dogs", he said.

"Yeah, she's a sweetheart, smart too! Best part is that now that she's got a dog, the ol' girl's not bugging me to go for walks anymore", I laughed.

I waited a few seconds while he recovered from a fit of "smoker's cough" caused by his respondent chuckle. "Yeah, ha-ha-ha, well at least they're gettin some excercise!", he sputtered.

"Hey, it's been a while, how about you pick up a box of beer and pop in for a drink?", I asked.

"Thassa good idea! I'll see yuz inna bit", he said.

"Don't bother knocking, just walk right in. We'll be waiting for ya." I said.

"Hokay, cool!" he said and hung of the phone.

My wife walked in midway through the conversation and seemed a little miffed when I hung up. Hands on hips, one eyebrow jutting up ominously, she launches into a diatribe.

"Why would you invite someone over without talking to my about it first? Can't you see that the house looks like a cyclone hit it? I'm running my @55 off, we've got a million things to do today and now you've invited one of your buddies over so you can sit around drinking beer all afternoon? Who the heck was that anyway?".

I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks. The stupefied look on her face was priceless when I told her it was a wrong number.

jawn_tech · #**1042** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 04:44 PM

1070

That's probably one of the funniest pranks I've ever heard. Definitely in my top ten list. Nice one, Dubbya!

TrafficProducer · #**1043** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:16 PM

1071 I'll pop in for that promisted (slurd speach), drink tomorrow. (Hic-Hic-hic)

Dubbya · #**1044** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 06:30 PM

1072 - No problem, Don't bother knocking, just walk right in. I'll be waitin' for ya!

**Tubby** · #**1045** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 07:13 PM

1073

all the guys at the pub took turns to phone "hello is Angelelne there"
At the end of the queue using phone was the single girl. when she rang she simply asked. "Hello this is angeline, were there any messages for me"

TrafficProducer · #**1046** (**permalink**) 11-28-2008, 07:18 PM

1074... I'll give it a Miss, hic-hic, the dog may bite me... hic hic hic

ctabuk · #**1047** (**permalink**) 11-29-2008, 06:20 AM

1075 Classic

Martinscholes · #**1048** (**permalink**) 11-29-2008, 09:07 PM

1076.

I have a very, very nice colleague whose surname is Vile. She'd only been there a while when a client phoned in and needed to take her surname. She said: "It's Vile." His reply was: "I don't care how vile it is, just tell me what your surname is."

Her reply? "I am sorry, but that is my surname. Vile. V..I..L..E.."

Apparently he spluttered for several seconds!

jawn_tech · #**1049** (**permalink**) 11-30-2008, 12:09 AM

1077

I was thinking, wouldn't it be cool if we reached 2009 by Jan 1st...?

ctabuk · #**1050** (**permalink**) 11-30-2008, 06:16 AM

1078 Yup, we can do it.

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