Rednecks, flying chairs, petty fisticuffs. No, this isn’t about the infamous Geraldo episode. It’s not Jerry Springer or the WWE, either. It’s about the ensuing chaos that erupted as a Virginia school system put 1,000 Apple iBooks on sale for $50. One person even lost a flip-flop.

"This is total, total chaos," 19-year-old Latoya Jones told an Associated Press writer after losing a flip-flop while fighting through a stampeding crowd outside the Richmond International Raceway.

Henrico County school system had good enough intentions today, trying to unload the 4-year old Apple iBooks to the local community for a sizeable discount. Little did they know they were paving the road to Hell with those good intentions as over 5000 people showed up outside the gates determined to take one home.

The sale was set to open at 7:00 AM this morning, but eager shoppers had already begun arriving as early as 1:30 to secure their place in line. One woman even wet herself to avoid losing her position.

But urinating on oneself was the least of the injuries amassed in the melee once those gates opened. Seventeen people were injured and four were hospitalized as the greedy mob threw the weaker members of the herd to the pavement in the rush.

One man, 20-year-old Jesse Sandler, was armed with a folding chair, beating back those who dared to cut line.

"I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam,'" the proud new owner of a used laptop told AP reporter Kristen Gelineau. "They were getting in front of me and I was there a lot earlier than them, so I thought that it was just," he said.

A folding chair, though, is kid stuff when compared to a car, which someone tried to drive through a crowd that had already thrown an elderly man to the ground and crushed a baby stroller on the way.

"It's rather strange that we would have such a tremendous response for the purchase of a laptop computer — and laptop computers that probably have less-than- desirable attributes," said Paul Proto, director of general services for Henrico County. "But I think that people tend to get caught up in the excitement of the event — it almost has an entertainment value."

“Caught up” may be the phrase for it. “Effed up” may be another.

The iBooks sold out by 1PM and no arrests were made.

Note to self: If you ever feel the need to drive a car through a crowd, get out and start swinging a folding chair at others, make sure you do it in Henrico County Virginia. The entertainment value will keep you from getting arrested.

__________________
"I never met a Kentuckian who wasn't coming home."--Governor Happy Chandler