An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

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Top 10 Things that Suck More than Writing a Psych Thesis

10. Getting hit by a truck
9. Being stranded in the Sahara without water
8. Falling in a pool of alligators
7. Discovering that your house was built on top of a graveyard
6. Hearing voices in your head
5. Being eaten by turtles
4. Getting a package from the Unabomber
3. Studying thermodyamic engineering
2. Writing a dissertation

And the number one thing that sucks more than writing a thesis:

1. Not graduating

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The Professor's Wish

A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."

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Psychology Class

The aspiring psychologists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

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And lastly...... :)

Freudian Slip

A priest is sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous look. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong.

"Well" the first priest said, "have you ever heard of a Freudian Slip?"

"No," said the other.

"Well" said the first, "it's when one slips and says something one is thinking usually when it is the least opportune time."

"Oh," said the third, "so, what happened."

"Well, today I performed a wedding, and you know the part when you say 'I now pronounce you man and wife'?" asked the
first.

"Yes?" said the second.

"Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was, "I now sentence you to death."

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or not knowing the package was from the unabomber!

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6. Hearing voices in your head

Even worse is when you aren't fluent in the language the voices are speaking in.

1-800-PSYCH
Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

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Greeneagle - I use to have that message on my voicemail lol Drove my friends nuts! Some actually hung up and redialed because they thought they had the wrong number. It was great! I should put it back on there lol

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And now the rest of the world knows the final question that George W passed in order to graduate :)

Julian

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Oh well everyone else does it - http://www.jctdesigns.com - http://www.swanseawaterbeds.co.uk - http://www.bathsrus.com/

That's still to hard for him, he must of had a cheat sheet!

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