Enjoy ;-)





Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 5 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English"
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English"
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say.

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Americans: Drink weak, nasty-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, nasty-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting nastieness.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Wallow on about how some of their past citizens were once outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid assimilation.
Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump their old ways.
Brits: Encourages immigrants to go to Canada or America.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humor.

Canadians: Don't believe that anything that's the government's job will ever actually get done.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for anything except Olympic athletes when abroad.
Canadians: Are generally rather confused about what's going on and how they got there when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Don't consider any place in the world to be truly "abroad", since secretly we all know it's part of the British Empire.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels and because you can only watch so many episodes of The Beachcombers before you put a gun to your head.

Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
Canadians: Prefer to drink beer.

Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, Henderson's goal in the Canada Cup, how there's no such thing as an American hockey team because all the players are from Canada except a few dozen from Europe, how they beat the Americans twice playing baseball, how basketball was actually invented in Canada, Shania Twain, Sarah Brightman, and Bryan Adams. Well, maybe not Bryan Adams...

Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans, add "eh?" to the end of a sentence and talk aboot the weather a lot.

Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor (but never beer) in a backwards country and then complain about how the Americans take advantage of them.

Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their national anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. Actually can't remember any of the words except "Oh Canada... something something something" and forget even those ones after a few beers. In their defense, are the only country required to learn a bilingual anthem - because of this, only three Canadians actually know what all the words mean and they are first generation immigrants from Japan.

Canadians: Drink. It helps them to forget about the Yanks, the Brits, and the Aussies. Which is fair enough because they have already forgotten about the Canadians.

Canadians: Prattle on about how ALL of those great Americans were once Canadian. And none of that matters after a few beers or when the hockey game is on.

Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. Unless it comes from the lottery.

Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid assimilation. We prefer it that way so that when things go wrong we can blame them and their ways.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and hot humid summers and then brag about the 4 days of beautiful spring and fall.

Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV. Also Shania Twain, Sarah Brightman, and... you know, that guy who always wore a shirt. Oh, and Red Green.

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TOO FUNNY guys! But pretty spot on ! :-)

Aussies: Are too busy playing sports to have time to watch them

Aussies: Point look over the ocean and point that way >>>>>

Aussies: Are still watching their sports

Brits: Are still trying to figure out how to beat the Aussies
Aussies: Are deciding what they will beat the Brits at next

Aussies: Forget whose spelling & pronounciation they are meant to use, so make up their own

Aussies: Know everyone is taking advantage of them anyway...so pass us another beer

Aussies: Love singing their national anthem, but just cant decide which song it is

Aussies: Drink. There has to be a reason?

Aussies: Know that wealth and success are morally suspect, so cut them off at the knees.

Aussies: You will be assimilated. Resistence is futile !

Aussies: Look forward to summer then complain about the heat & droughts. Look forward to winter, then complain about the cold & floods. But, will always brag they have the best climate.

Aussies: Export their comedians & crocodile hunters as tourism ambassadors.

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Canadians will brag about winning both hockey gold medals while watching videos of the 72 Canada Russia series.
Americans will deny hockey exsisted untill they invented the glowing puck.
Brits Claim that they started the Stanley cup.
Aussies think the stanley cup is something to hold their drink in.

When not too drunk that is.

Canadians can't learn the national anthem because every time we start to learn it they change the words on us.

Greyhawk

Hey! What happened to "Standing on guard for thee"! Last time I hummed along in embarrassment, those words were still there, I think. [o;

Brits: Wish God wouldn't save the Queen quite so good;
Canadians: Are to shy and or embarrassed to sing O Canada in public (the word thing plays a part);
Americans: Will thump you good if you don't sing LOUDER you treasonous b$%*&%^#% ;
Aussies: Can always fall back on '99 bottles of beer on the Wall' in event of disagreement over what is no. 1 on the National Anthem chart
Aussies: After 50 or 60 pints don't give a kangaroo's crevice, they all sound the same anyways

You really think aussies would leave 99 bottles of beer on the wall? ;-)

Here's a giggle for you ! In all the outbacks pubs I have been in...when the ale is flowing fast...they sing "Miiiisssiiiissssiiiipppiii". Odd hey! :-)


Cindy

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Sheila wrote" You really think aussies would leave 99 bottles of beer on the wall? ;-)"

Well, if they had several thousand on the table, as well as every other available... NO.

Funny how words can have such opposite meanings between two cultures. For Instance, in Australia they say "odd" and in Canada we would say "typical", and Britain they would say ' Oy, what's all this then" - the states? Whaaassssuuuuuuuppppppp!
I must get some sleep...

Bless The Red Green Show!!! Duct tape does wonders when you need to improvise. :)

Sue Elvins
A Page Or 2
www.apageor2.com

:-) Yes, that and, "Remember...keep your stick on the ice... and if the ladies don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

I could do without the goofy nephew though...

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