Is today today or tomorrow yesterday? - Page 37

MarcieZoob · #**1801** (**permalink**) 01-14-2005, 06:34 AM

ctabuk said

Quote:

I had to put ten sparrows in the microwave this morning they were frozen to the bird table, they are ok now, weird for a 60 minute defrost!

That's funny! I walked my dog in 50 degree temperatures yesterday at 5:30 and now, 12 hours later, we have a wind chill of zero. What the...? Guess it's back to flannel jammies for the dog trek...and how did you know that? Do you have a high-powered telescope pointed at our house? :)

ctabuk · #**1802** (**permalink**) 01-14-2005, 06:58 AM

Hi Marcie, No - jawn_tech's the one with the telescope - I use ESP - Eggs, Sausages and Pacon

Your dog has been communicating with me, he say's if you throw one more snowball at him he'll bite your boots. I reckon we are going to get an early spring here in the UK - the doves are mating!So watch out for a sudden thaw.

random2004 · #**1803** (**permalink**) 01-16-2005, 01:56 AM

What kind of wrapped herbs are we smoking these days?

ctabuk · #**1804** (**permalink**) 01-16-2005, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by random2004

What kind of wrapped herbs are we smoking these days?

Funny you ask that, I remember as a kid I could not afford real ciggies, but the herbal ones were dirt cheap, and they had an added advantage you could get the top of a bus all to yourselves (me and my mates, all spotty 15 year olds), maybe the effect is taking place 40 years on?

thehappysmoker · #**1805** (**permalink**) 01-16-2005, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ctabuk

the doves are mating!So watch out for a sudden thaw.

Dunno about British doves, mate, but something's up.

Migratory birds (geese, swans etc.) are staying here in Denmark this winter, instead of flying halfway across the globe, as they usually do.

Have you been feeding them your tobacco substitute ?

mushroom · #**1806** (**permalink**) 01-16-2005, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thehappysmoker

Dunno about British doves, mate, but something's up.

Migratory birds (geese, swans etc.) are staying here in Denmark this winter, instead of flying halfway across the globe, as they usually do.

Have you been feeding them your tobacco substitute ?

Or maybe they have been listening to talking Jello.

And if they have, what flavor is it?

thehappysmoker · #**1807** (**permalink**) 01-17-2005, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mushroom

Or maybe they have been listening to talking Jello.

And if they have, what flavor is it?

Thursday tea-time, of course. Why do you ask ?

ctabuk · #**1808** (**permalink**) 01-17-2005, 04:44 AM

Hi Happy, you are back to your excellent form. Believe it or not I'm a RSPB member and keep an eye on British Birds, and yes something is up. Normally at this time of year we are awash with swans, not this year. My address is Mallard Hurn in the fens of Lincolnshire. I won't bore other posters on bird matters(unless they want to know) so I'll PM you later.
Mushroom, more posts please!

thehappysmoker · #**1809** (**permalink**) 01-17-2005, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ctabuk

I'll PM you later.

There's saucy.

I don't remember the last time I was PM'd. I think it was when..........No, it was Wen !

ctabuk · #**1810** (**permalink**) 01-17-2005, 07:31 AM

Don't get too excited as I found this for you
www.rspb.org.uk

Cheers

wenwilder · #**1811** (**permalink**) 01-17-2005, 07:47 PM

Boy, you don't get to visit as often and the place really goes to the "birds". ;)

thehappysmoker · #**1812** (**permalink**) 01-18-2005, 05:38 AM

Strictly for the birds, Daddio. (Probably before your time)

paulhiles · #**1813** (**permalink**) 01-18-2005, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wenwilder

Boy, you don't get to visit as often and the place really goes to the "birds". ;)

Hey there Wen! Welcome back! Was wondering when you were going to stick your beak in here! :o)

Sorry for going out on a wing like this... anyway, happysmoker was trying to remember the last time he was PM'd, and he reckons it was from you. Only thing is.. he's not quite sure of the day, Daddio! :o)

Paul

ctabuk · #**1814** (**permalink**) 01-18-2005, 07:19 AM

Paul, you'll put wen into a flap, still that's a feather in your cap

thehappysmoker · #**1815** (**permalink**) 01-18-2005, 07:36 AM

But don't get too cocky about it.

wenwilder · #**1816** (**permalink**) 01-19-2005, 05:22 PM

I think they need to re-check their records. I'm thinking more than One flew over the cuckoo's nest - more like two or... three. They could have been counting their chickens before they.....you know the rest ;)

Daddio was back in my daddio's time. You know, back when the dinosaurs helped keep the bird count down ;)

ctabuk · #**1817** (**permalink**) 01-20-2005, 04:55 AM

Well, that makes wen about half a million yeas old, looking good you have to admit!

thehappysmoker · #**1818** (**permalink**) 01-20-2005, 05:39 AM

"When I'm culling You. oo oo oo........"

"I can fly, I can fly, I can fly"

MatW · #**1819** (**permalink**) 01-20-2005, 09:59 PM

Hi guys it's been some time that I was out. So I decided to go to a thread with the most number of posts and what do I find? a nagging headache...either you guys are too deep or I'm just too slow to catch on. :(

ctabuk · #**1820** (**permalink**) 01-21-2005, 06:45 AM

A nagging headache! - wow, happy is deeeeeeeeep, greeneagle is really deep, mostly because he has tall trees in his backyard and he keeps trying to fly like a real eagle from the top, and he tends to have a tendancy to plummit (Monty Python Sheep Joke)
and the soil is soft. Minstrel is planning a world coup but he's too wrapped up in George Bushes speeches about peace and harmony, which makes World Domination a real problem. Me, I read War and Peace twice yesterday, which does not make me deep, but it proves that 99% of the pages were missing. This thread is the only thing keeping me sane, get down crocodile I'll feed you another postman when he arrives. Sorry about that, but the post office keep sending Inspectors looking for missing postmen and Croc just keeps getting bigger by the day. Sanity is crucial here at WPW - they will not let loonies post, so you are totally wrong, but you could be totally right, your call

mikmik · #**1821** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:03 PM

Quote:

so you are totally wrong, but you could be totally right, your call

Ah - HAH!

I smell a set-up.

I abstain!!!

mikmik · #**1822** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:05 PM

Daddio?

That's boss.

mikmik · #**1823** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:06 PM

Cats.

mikmik · #**1824** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:12 PM

PS I miss you cats a lot.

23 skidoo, dapper dan.

Thanks for the flowers, ctabuk, they were delicious :O)

thehappysmoker · #**1825** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:26 PM

Too hep for me. Jack Kerouac for President.

MarcieZoob · #**1826** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:32 PM

Just caught the bird talk in this post - our geese are hanging around and it's subzero around here. They are usually long gone by mid-December so it's unusual behavior.

We're avid bird-watchers up here and this is the time of year we get some interesting species at our feeders. Those darn turkeys, though - they've broken quite a few nice feeders thinking they're a cute little chickadee... :)

MarcieZoob · #**1827** (**permalink**) 01-22-2005, 01:34 PM

Best DVD I ever purchased:

http://www.pbs.org/lifeofbirds/

Clicken · #**1828** (**permalink**) 01-23-2005, 04:19 AM

BIRD BRAINS! HAHA... BIRD BRAINS!!! WEN did you see that?

Oh my, Marcie, that's a rooten tooten doosey!

Is it true?... Dandylions can make you 'churp'.

Cookoo cachooooooooooooooo!

ctabuk · #**1829** (**permalink**) 01-23-2005, 07:28 AM

What are you chicks doing out of the Wenhouse?

Playing 'Bingo -Cluckety Cluck'?

mikmik · #**1830** (**permalink**) 01-23-2005, 10:45 PM

What do ducks put in their soup?

Quackers :O)))

We have some addled avians around here, Marcie. The ducks don't migrate like they are supposed to - Mallards - I don't even think they like to fly, period.

They just walk around their creek or pond with the ducklings (one was real ugly, woo boy!) and teach them to migrate LMAO.

No ambition, birds these days. Need a couple o' fox to liven up the Wenhouse, CT.

Maybe the Irish Colonol, O'Truth, will get together with Private Matters and General Topix and plan something one of these days.

Clicken · #**1831** (**permalink**) 01-24-2005, 12:12 AM

BINGO was his name :O!
*********

Where would ducks keep their money?

...In their bill fold.

The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. So, why did the duck cross the road?

...Because there weren't any cars coming.

So, why didn't the rooster cross the road?

...because it never 'dawned' on him to look for cars coming.

****-a-doodle Dooooo ^ oooon't no mo!

Oh man... grilled duck... trucker style... talk about food to go... Is this where Kerri got her idea of under the hood cooking?:

Scratch That!

ctabuk · #**1832** (**permalink**) 01-24-2005, 05:09 AM

General Topix called his aide de camp in and said 'Hello Tweety, can you speak in Pigeon English?'

'Listen dear, with my chillblanes I can barely walk - let alone talk'

thehappysmoker · #**1833** (**permalink**) 01-24-2005, 05:26 AM

"Daddy, there's a man with a bill at the door "

"Men don't have bills. It must be a duck "

Alternative punchline : "Tell him we've already got one".

MarcieZoob · #**1834** (**permalink**) 01-24-2005, 10:25 AM

Two Texans went duck-hunting with their dogs but without success. "I know what we're doing wrong," said the first one. "What's that then?" asked the second. "We're not throwing the dogs high enough!"

MarcieZoob · #**1835** (**permalink**) 01-24-2005, 10:26 AM

Q: What do you call a fat cat that swallows a duck?
A: A duck-filled-fatty-pus

ctabuk · #**1836** (**permalink**) 01-24-2005, 11:14 AM

This guy goes fishing in a USA National Park, when this great big bear walked up to him and said' This is my lake, push off or I'm going to remove your pants and you won't like what happens next' The guy blew a raspberry at the bear, he did'nt like what happened next. So the next day he takes a gun with him and sure enough the bear returned and said the same thing.The guy said, look bear,I'm going to shot you dead' - 'Not with the safety catch on'said the bear as he grabbed the gun. The guy definetly did not like what happened next. The next day the guy takes a sub machine gun and sure enough the bear turned up, the guy raised his gun, and another bear grabbed him from behind, the first bear said 'Are you sure you are here for the fishing?'

wenwilder · #**1837** (**permalink**) 01-30-2005, 01:11 PM

I think we have a few who mentally...flew the coop when making these last few posts. At least there were no ruffled feathers only a few chuckles. ;)

ctauk thanks for posting the polite version of that joke. Have you ever seen the cartoon that goes with it? It's baddddd. Dang people and their warped minds. :)

rocky1 · #**1838** (**permalink**) 02-02-2005, 09:06 AM

I think you better check their luch boxes Wen, there's got to be something in them brownies! /o:?

rocky1 · #**1839** (**permalink**) 02-02-2005, 09:14 AM

This should keep you guys occupied for another 20 or so pages!

Points to Ponder

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Would yelling "MOVIE" in a crowded firehouse have the same affect as yelling "FIRE" in a crowded movie house?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

How do a fool and his money GET together?

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

How come there aren't B batteries?

How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

Clicken · #**1840** (**permalink**) 02-02-2005, 12:51 PM

We need a 'cheap' sheet... my bird brain can't handle so many lines of chit.

Clicken · #**1841** (**permalink**) 02-02-2005, 01:11 PM

Now I'm all 'foul'ed out!..

Thanks Rocky1...

NO... Toucan play this Game... But it flies higher with a flock of DoDos!

jawn_tech · #**1842** (**permalink**) 02-03-2005, 01:11 AM

Quote:

We need a 'cheap' sheet... my bird brain can't handle so many lines of chit.

Now clicken, no need to swear.

heh-heh
;)

thehappysmoker · #**1843** (**permalink**) 02-03-2005, 07:01 AM

CHIT: n. Short informal letter; voucher, permit or pass (Hind.)

CHIT: n. Young child, small or slender woman (esp. a ¨ of a girl), (E)

Can't seem to get either of these to fit.

ctabuk · #**1844** (**permalink**) 02-03-2005, 07:43 AM

Rocky1 How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work? Classic -what's the answer please?

I'm always in the Chit -it's my lot in life, snowplough, lol

Clicken · #**1845** (**permalink**) 02-03-2005, 10:27 AM

HAHAHAHA

Did I say chit, I coulda sworn I said... WIT!

Asn Nit Wit!

We need a 'peep' sheet... my bird brain can't handle so many lines of wirey wit!

MarcieZoob · #**1846** (**permalink**) 02-04-2005, 07:00 AM

Quote:

How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work?

I don't care, just as long as he plows my street before 8:30 a.m.! :)

ctabuk · #**1847** (**permalink**) 02-04-2005, 07:18 AM

I asked she who must be obeyed about the snowplough her reply -He takes it home with him -Women's logic, I'm going back to my fridge, I'm safe there

thehappysmoker · #**1848** (**permalink**) 02-04-2005, 08:06 AM

I think I've worked out the logic.

Birds - fly
Chitty bang bang - car which flies.

That's pretty obtuse wit, Clicken (well, maybe not pretty,but something)

MarcieZoob · #**1849** (**permalink**) 02-04-2005, 08:12 AM

Hey, I want one of those cars that flies....

Clicken · #**1850** (**permalink**) 02-04-2005, 01:50 PM

Do I have egg on my face?:

+++++++++++++++++++
Main Entry: obtuse Part of Speech: adjective Definition: stupid Synonyms: birdbrained,... (among other things.)
++++++++++++++++++++

Could you say that the gander had a gander at the gander?

gan·der:
A male goose.
Informal. A look or glance: “Everyone turns and takes a gander at the yokels” (Garrison Keillor).
Informal. A simpleton; a ninny.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
This may prove to be pointless, for some... but I'll have another gander at the 'chit' (informal letter) from Rocky1.

Marcie, are you thinking of putting wings on that winnab'egg' Oooooooooooooooo. Where's my drumstick? wait... maybe I should look for that "GONGgggggggg"

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