I love my job, I love my job

EJRS.COM · #1 (**permalink**) 04-21-2004, 10:06 PM

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops, totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job."

wenwilder · #2 (**permalink**) 04-21-2004, 10:36 PM

I KNOW I have an extraordinarily GOOD life! When I read stories like the next one,
I am even more thankful to have MY particular life!

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight.
During the pilot's preflight check he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight.

So, a message is sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.
He finally gets to the air base only to find that the latrine pump has been left outdoors and is
frozen solid so he must find another one in the hangar.
Which takes even more time.

He finally arrives at the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do.
Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot, an Air Force Major, stops him and says, "Son, your attitude
and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but punished."

The poor guy says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son. I'm an enlisted airman in the United States Air Force.
I've been in Thule, Greenland, for eleven months without a furlough, and reindeer are beginning to look pretty good to me.
I have one stripe, it's two thirty in the morning, it's twenty degrees below zero and my specialty here is to pump crap from an aircraft.
Now just what form of punishment did you have in mind?"

G[dot]com · #3 (**permalink**) 04-21-2004, 10:36 PM

EJRS,

I had that fantasy about how lucky divers were having that job...ya know...

Seems that every ocupation have its own itchy side... Even those ones scratching their bellies all day long!...

The more you scratch the more it itches!

"I love my job, I love my job" - That´s the alibi, isn´t it?

;o)

Gi

wenwilder · #4 (**permalink**) 04-22-2004, 03:22 AM

I use to have a car that I would put bumper stickers on. One of my favorite ones said: "I love my job, it is the work I hate!" There are some days I think I could have written that ;)

mikmik · #5 (**permalink**) 04-22-2004, 03:41 AM

I think that there would be company with that jellyfish if I realized what was in there.

The diver had a stinging stinker, and the jellyfish had a stinking stinger!

WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOAA AAAAAA

mikmik · #6 (**permalink**) 04-22-2004, 03:44 AM

It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop when you hit the ground.

sovidiu · #7 (**permalink**) 04-23-2004, 11:08 AM

Pretty interesting post. A good point from our friend who probably does not know that "butt" is not a term pretinent to the eBusiness professionals' activities.

sonnie · #8 (**permalink**) 04-23-2004, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovidiu

Pretty interesting post. A good point from our friend who probably does not know that "butt" is not a term pretinent to the eBusiness professionals' activities.

HUH? Did you mean pertinent? And everyone knows that "butt" goes very well with eBusiness professionals per say.

everlife2 · #9 (**permalink**) 04-23-2004, 05:57 PM

Since I arrived at WebProWorld my butt has just been on fire...What can I say?! 80}
www.galaxyleap.org/galaxyleap.gif/bizcard.gif
www.galaxyleap.org/galaxyleap.gif/bizcard2.gif

MarketingMama · #10 (**permalink**) 04-23-2004, 07:10 PM

felt like you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt??? Those are the days a good bottle of tequila and loud Led Zepplin make everything ok :-)

The MarketingMama

sonnie · #11 (**permalink**) 04-23-2004, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarketingMama

felt like you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt??? Those are the days a good bottle of tequila and loud Led Zepplin make everything ok :-)

The MarketingMama

Right On! As we get older, the best come back.

MarketingMama · #12 (**permalink**) 04-23-2004, 08:22 PM

ah a fellow Led Head :-) so somebody knows what I'm talking about!!! Flower Power Baby!!! Ok now I'm not being relevant at all to this topic can you tell that today is one of those days that I felt like I had a jelly fish up my butt?

The MarketingMama :-)

EJRS.COM · #13 (**permalink**) 04-24-2004, 11:54 AM

You people are crazy. That's the bottom line, no "ifs" "ends" or "butts" about it.

Sigh. What can I say? But I still love you all. Heheheh.

trsiyengar · #14 (**permalink**) 04-26-2004, 02:26 AM

EJRS.COM's feeling:

You people are crazy. That's the bottom line, no "ifs" "ands" or "butts" about it.

Sigh. What can I say? But I still love you all. Heheheh

Haha, your post, you say relayed over radio? Oh, then nothing wrong in others comment. It is lovely, as you admit you love us all! BTW, how is your brother after he came out of the Bottom-dwelling job? Hahahah....

Namasthe Everyone,
TRS Iyengar