Questions aboot Canada

minstrel · #1 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 01:18 AM

These questions about Canada were purportedly posted on an International Tourism Website:

1. Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A : Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles -- take lots of water.

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

matauri · #2 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 03:03 AM

LOL...from past experience, I have to agree with the first one! :-)

Never did get to see one of those hippo races tho ;-(

Cindy

JMac · #3 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 11:17 AM

Minstrel -
Thank you for supplying me with ready-made "snappy answers to ... " Well, of course, we're Canadians so there are no stupid questions.

You made my morning!

Have a great day!

JMac

minstrel · #4 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMac

Thank you for supplying me with ready-made "snappy answers to ... " Well, of course, we're Canadians so there are no stupid questions.

You're welcome :-)

The one about "can I walk from Vancouver to Toronto" struck a chord with me... years ago, when I was a boy, my grandfather visited from England... we were living in Montreal at the time and he wanted to make a day trip to Niagara Falls... even at the age of 10, that was a revealing lesson to me about different my world was from many people living in the UK/Europe.

JMac · #5 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 12:09 PM

A friend in NY recently said to me "I have a conference in Montreal, maybe while I'm there I can visit you." (in Vancouver, BC)
She's only 6 hours drive from Montreal - 6 hours - 6 days drive ... no difference.
The equivalent would be my telling her, "I have a conference in California, maybe I'll stop in and say Hi to you - in New York."

When I was 6 (and in Montreal) I thought it was 10 miles to Switzerland. I outgrew that though... :-)
JMac

flood6 · #6 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minstrel

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

It's a Canadian double header.

mdaiah · #7 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 06:54 PM

I really like the 'ou' sound Canadians make. I hear it in 'out' and such words. It also helps me quickly distinguish a Canadian from an USA -er.

Speakig of Polar bears Minstrel:
A little baby polar bear kept distracting his dad who was catching salmon.
"Am I a black bear dad?" "No son you're a polar bear now leave me to my work."
5 minutes later "dad am I am brown bear?" " No son, you're a polar bear, told you already, now go off and play."
"Dad am I a grissly bear?" "NO Son! You're a polar bear."
"Hey dad, if I'm a polar bear then why am I so bloody cold!"
Michael

ps (my fav) Do you speak English in Canada?

carbonize · #8 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 06:57 PM

Why do a lot of Canucks think they can speak French?Canadian French is like American English.

As for JMac's American friend I have noticed Americans don't seem to mind long drives, probably because they use the car more than any other country, I mean who else has drive through banks and drive through shops?

Greyhawk · #9 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdaiah

ps (my fav) Do you speak English in Canada?

We are Bi-Lingual we speak English and American

Greyhawk

Greyhawk · #10 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 07:06 PM

What is the Official National Sport of Canada?

Who won the war of 1812?

How did the White house get it's name?

The Canadians should know the answers to these but the Yanks will deny them.

Greyhawk

minstrel · #11 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdaiah

I really like the 'ou' sound Canadians make. I hear it in 'out' and such words. It also helps me quickly distinguish a Canadian from an USA -er.

Actually, that's sort of an in-joke... only maritimers actually pronounce it that way...

Quote:

Speaking of Polar bears Minstrel:

A polar bear walks into a bar, strolls up to the bartender, and says, "Give me a gin....... ...... ..... ..... ..... and tonic."

The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... but why the long pause?"

The bear looks down at his feet and says, "I dunno... I've always had 'em."

minstrel · #12 (**permalink**) 10-16-2003, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMac

When I was 6 (and in Montreal) I thought it was 10 miles to Switzerland. I outgrew that though...

By coincidence, when I was 6, I lived in British Columbia... first Vancouver, later Kitimat, Kemano, Terrace, Prince Rupert, etc.

Greyhawk · #13 (**permalink**) 10-18-2003, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyhawk

What is the Official National Sport of Canada?

Who won the war of 1812?

How did the White house get it's name?

The Canadians should know the answers to these but the Yanks will deny them.

Greyhawk

Can no one answer these? Please some one out there has to know the answers other then me.

Greyhawk

JMac · #14 (**permalink**) 10-18-2003, 02:07 PM

Greyhawk -

sssshhhhhh!
Modesty and sedate quiet are the Canadian way, eh?

For information on the 1812 war and who won it, see the ever popular forum at the History Channel:
http://boards.historychannel.com/forum.jsp?forum=94
There are some very amusing takes on this war - it all depends on what history book one chooses to read. Considering it's been over for a long time, compared to some other wars, I can't believe people find time to write such lengthy, libelous posts intended to inflame and insult.

And for goodness sakes, stop telling people we are arsonists! :-)

Canada's official sport, according to some history books, was invented by Native peoples. (It's all still contested, right?)
So, how much credit do we get - or lose?

And speaking of credit - do I get any for this?
Requesting credit for something? Not very Canadian of me either, eh?

Greyhawk - Tofino? Why are you not out surfing?

JMac

minstrel · #15 (**permalink**) 10-18-2003, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyhawk

What is the Official National Sport of Canada?

"Although it has never been officially declared, the national sport of Canada is popularly believed to be lacrosse, a game first played by North American Indians. But no official recognition could ever make lacrosse as popular in Canada as the game Canadians love most: ice hockey."

"Lacrosse was first declared the National Game of Canada in 1859. Although the original government records have never been located, hundreds of references cite this event, from renowned encyclopediae, books on Canada's history, government communications and educational textbooks to newspaper and other media accounts dating back in history. One such reference occurs in Scribner's Monthly, Volume 14, May-October 1877. 'The game of Lacrosse, which was adopted as the national game of Canada on the 1st of July, 1859, the first Dominion Day...'. The game of Lacrosse was granted this status in the 1800s, not merely because of its popularity or economics, but because it has made significant and lasting contributions to the history and development of this nation, its people, and the sport community. Indeed, Lacrosse is known as Canada's National Game throughout the world."

Quote:

Who won the war of 1812?

No one: "The War of 1812 is one of the forgotten wars of the United States. The war lasted for over two years, and while it ended much like it started; in stalemate; it was in fact a war that once and for all confirmed American Independence. The offensive actions of the United States failed in every attempt to capture Canada. On the other hand, the British army was successfully stopped when it attempted to capture Baltimore and New Orleans."

Quote:

How did the White house get it's name?

"The White House represents the executive branch. Every president except George Washington lived here (but Washington chose the site). Designed by Irishman James Hoban, the building was burned by the British in 1814. Rebuilt and painted white to cover the burn marks, it gained the name of the White House."

Greyhawk · #16 (**permalink**) 10-18-2003, 08:15 PM

Great answers I hope that our American freinds will remember these things. I know some of them never hear about the burning of the white house.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMac

Greyhawk - Tofino? Why are you not out surfing?

JMac

Have you not been watching the Weather when it rains in BC Tofino gets the worst of it. Lucky for me I live on a hill.

Greyhawk

matauri · #17 (**permalink**) 10-18-2003, 11:19 PM

Now now Cannucks.... when I lived in Ottawa I asked all the usual new to Canada stuff, and I was always met with "I dont know".

CFRA's Lowell Green had a good one he used to ask on his radio show...made me laff...."Where is the St Lawrence Seaway?" Now no peeking...off the top of your head? ;-)

Its funny that Canadians remember a war considering their peacekeepers ;-) But then again....if it involves the US its amazing how much gets remebered !! ;-)

And living on the border of Quebec....hard to guage what language is spoken in Canada...or should I say...what language is 'allowed' to be spoken ;-) All I know is that they never understood Aussie! :-)

In regards to sport...LOL...only sport I participated in was trying to stay on my feet on ice! That and snow shovelling! :-)

(and dont anyone jump up & down taking offence...just kiddin with yas!) :-)

Cindy

Moondancer · #18 (**permalink**) 10-19-2003, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyhawk

Great answers I hope that our American freinds will remember these things. I know some of them never hear about the burning of the white house.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMac

Greyhawk - Tofino? Why are you not out surfing?

JMac

Have you not been watching the Weather when it rains in BC Tofino gets the worst of it. Lucky for me I live on a hill.

Greyhawk

History gets rewritten every few years in order to stay politically correct.... never teally understood that myself..if you don't have accurate facts about the past how can you make good decisions to affect the future? but then I'm old.... maybe somebody younger can explain it to me.