You know you're taking computers to seriously when...

wenwilder · #1 (**permalink**) 08-06-2003, 08:17 PM

You recognize two or more parcel delivery truck drivers and can call them by name.

One of the package delivery drivers attends your wedding.

You pay for software to be delivered "next day air" when you really don't need it that quickly.

You know your package "tracking number" by heart.

All your friends and relatives give you blank diskettes for your birthday and Christmas presents.

Have your wife name your computer as the co-respondent in your divorce papers.

Have never bought one of the "dummies" books.

Bought all the "dummies" books for your wife/husband to get them involved in computers.

Stay on the Internet so much that your commercial provider makes you buy a corporate account.

Ask a potential mate for their e-mail address rather than their sign.

When you wash clothes, you find stray diskettes in your pockets.

You hear the word "Windows" on a TV commercial and wrestle the remote away from your wife to turn up the volume only to find out it's a commercial selling new windows for houses.

You refuse to delete programs off your hard drive that you haven't used in two years.

You overhear a co-worker mention the word bulletin board and interrupt the conversation only to learn he's talking about a notice on the company bulletin board.

Can operate three or more communication packages.

Know what IDE, RAM, CMOS, MEGS, VESA and SCSI stand for.

Start looking at new hard drives when you get less than 200 megs of space free on your present drives.

Subscribe to more than three monthly computer magazines.

Go out and buy 50 new floppies rather than go through the 300 used ones you have and delete the files on them.

Get copies of programs from your friends and never use them.

Have more than five books on the Internet.

Can't carry on a conversation without changing it to computers.

Drop everything you're doing to go out and purchase the new program you just read about in a computer magazine.

Start figuring "must have" computer upgrades into the family budget.

Try to "sell" computers by talking about how great they are to all your friends and relatives, telling them they've "got to have one."

Have at least one more computer than people who live in the house.

Memorize the telephone numbers of your favorite computer stores.

Upgrade computer software packages as soon as you get notice that one's available, even if the new features aren't something you'll use.

Call your computer by a name.

Become the guy that everyone at work comes to with their computer problems.

Consider calling Microsoft in the United Kingdom to get an early copy of a program you can't buy here.

Take your computer on vacation with you, even if you go camping.

duncanmichaelis · #2 (**permalink**) 08-07-2003, 09:46 AM

Oh s#*t i need help. Was nodding a little too much while reading that.

Chatmag · #3 (**permalink**) 08-07-2003, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duncanmichaelis

Oh s#*t i need help. Was nodding a little too much while reading that.

Add, "when you have a keyboard imprint on your forehead" to that list :)

cyanide · #4 (**permalink**) 08-07-2003, 11:24 PM

wenwilder: nice!,

I can relate to most.
except, didn't quite get the first 2 -delivery drivers ?

Quote:

"when you have a keyboard imprint on your forehead"

yep, had a few incidents.

and... the keyboard has turned to the colour of your coffee

wenwilder · #5 (**permalink**) 08-08-2003, 01:44 PM

[quote="cyanide"]

I can relate to most.
except, didn't quite get the first 2 -delivery drivers ?

When you keep throwing your computer out the window to see how high it will bounce on those "rare" occasions when it doesn't work....you get to know the delivery drivers who bring you replacement parts well.

By the way, just for the record...compaqs bounce the highest and best when thrown from a two story building, gateway comes in second.

freelancemom · #6 (**permalink**) 08-16-2003, 08:48 PM

ummmm -- you watch your computer defrag?

:-P

Lori

Chatmag · #7 (**permalink**) 08-16-2003, 11:14 PM

dewachen brings up a good point. Someone should write a defrag thats more entertaining.

jvn · #8 (**permalink**) 08-18-2003, 03:05 AM

:) Good list! (and too true)

SyrenSong · #9 (**permalink**) 08-23-2003, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wenwilder

All your friends and relatives give you blank diskettes for your birthday and Christmas presents....

Have at least one more computer than people who live in the house....

Know what IDE, RAM, CMOS, MEGS, VESA and SCSI stand for....

Can operate three or more communication packages....

It was blank CDs and CD-RWs, thank you very much! :)

And there's no such thing as being too thin, too pasty, or having too many computers in the house.

Random Access Memory, I___ Digital Exchange (nope, that's wrong), C__ M__ Operating System (that doesn't sound quite right, does it?), Standard Computer Software Interface (okay, I just made that one up)....phew! I'm mostly safe on that one.

You mean like the 2 different fax programs? Or the four different email programs (including webmail)? Or are you talking about ws_ftp, cute_ftp, putty, fetch, and telnet? Did I just get myself in trouble?

Okay. To add to the list:

Your spouse IMs you to let you know dinner's ready.

Instead of saying "I'll write that down" you say you'll add it to your expanded core memory (i.e. DayPlanner).

You spend TOO Much Time on the Computer When at strangecosmos.com has a few more.

S.

wenwilder · #10 (**permalink**) 08-23-2003, 02:39 AM

CMOS - Complimentary metal-oxide semiconductor, SCSI - Small Computer System Interface, IDE - Integrated Drive Electronics, EIDE - Enhanced Integrated Drive Electronics, or
EIDE - Extended Imbedded Drive Electronics. (Old MFT drives had the controller on a card... The IDE drives have internal controls for the drive hardware. I think EIDE means it has DMA support. DMA - Direct Memory Access, just in case you were wondering. EIDE drives and boards are backwards compatible with IDE. DMA is nice because it doesn't take CPU power to load things from the drive, unlike the old PIO (Programmed Input/Output) that all original IDE drives relied on. VESA - Video Electronics Standards Association, The VESA VBE (Video BIOS Extensions) used to be a big deal back in the DOS days, but are almost completely irrelevant now. But VESA still sets standards for stuff like DVI, etc. DVI = Digital Video Interface... it is used as a pure digital connection between new top-of-the-line video cards and LCD monitors.

I KNOW I spend to much time online....I can't hide it any more! ;)

SyrenSong · #11 (**permalink**) 08-23-2003, 08:11 PM

Okay. I'll admit it - I looked up the ones I wasn't too sure of after I read the post. I just had to know what I was missing, 'cause once upon a time I knew most, if not all, of that stuff.

And actually, if memory serves, EIDE is "Enhanced Integrated Drive Electronics", and LCD is "Liquid Crystal Display" :P

Guess that's another sign I spend too much time online. :D

S

wenwilder · #12 (**permalink**) 04-01-2004, 02:44 PM

If people didn't spend so much time online..... wpw would be boring and useless.... Oh... and I definately!!! would not be fun ;)

Thank goodness for diehard internet addicts! ;)

vfaulkner · #13 (**permalink**) 04-02-2004, 12:53 PM

You plan a trip/vacation around scheduled(or not) downtime/repairs/maintence...

(Actually, the trip was already planned, but being hit by a virus made it easier to get away...)

sajdlz · #14 (**permalink**) 04-02-2004, 01:29 PM

"Go out and buy 50 new floppies rather than go through the 300 used ones you have and delete the files on them. "

Guilty as charged!

Some others to add..

The number of "friends" you have doubles when viruses hit.

You have ever in the course of any conversation (in real life) thought or said aloud "LOL", "ROFL", or "BRB".

When asked if you would like a cookie, you automatically say "Cookies? I cleared mine out last week."