Women Drivers

esiegel · #1 (**permalink**) 03-09-2005, 09:45 AM

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mercedes doing 65 mph with her face up next to her mirror on her sun visor putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over on my lane still working on that makeup.As a man, I don't scare easily, but she surprised me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which made me drop the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, I let loose my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned the hell out of Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

flood6 · #2 (**permalink**) 03-09-2005, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by esiegel

Big Jim and the Twins

With that many people in the car, you have to remember that it's not just your safety you risk when you don't concentrate on driving, but theirs, as well.

**ctabuk** · #3 (**permalink**) 03-09-2005, 10:35 AM

I am still laughing, I'll regroup and reply properly, your holiday did you good, and flood6, I've had you all wrong!

MarcieZoob · #4 (**permalink**) 03-09-2005, 02:55 PM

Wow, driving sure has changed! I'm glad I live in the north woods, the only thing I have to watch out for are snow plows and snowmobiles.

**ctabuk** · #5 (**permalink**) 03-10-2005, 07:24 AM

That has now gone around the office, yes I do work and it was nominated for an award. Yes easy, for just $40,000 you can claim your prize of a weekend in Skegness here on the Lincolnshire Fens, you will get to walk on the rain soaked terraces and eat at Joe's Burger Bar, you remember Grease the Movie? Well this is Grease the plateful. You will receive a pass to our very own Casino where you will be waited on hand and foot by the lovely Doris Trubfoot, Yes the Doris T, star of Lassie Come Home, bring some bones.Then you will be whisked away (and it's not as painful as you may think)in your very own Beach Buggy, (providing Sam remembers to feed the donkey)
to Sunny Maplethorpe where you be able to feed the seals, bandages will be provided. Then after a two hour operation at the local Hospital, you will be able join in with a local Morris Dance, you can dangle your grometts and play with your bells.All of this and more for just $40,000. A deal of a lifetime, make your check out to CASH and we might, no we may send you your flight tickets.

MarcieZoob · #6 (**permalink**) 03-10-2005, 08:25 AM

Darn....and I just bought my tickets for Las Vegas. Maybe next time.

MatW · #7 (**permalink**) 03-16-2005, 01:59 AM

Darn women drivers...my mom is not a good driver as well. Good thing nothing major happened to you.

wenwilder · #8 (**permalink**) 03-17-2005, 03:00 PM

You got off lucky esiegel, she could have been putting on her lipstick! ;)

I had the pleasure of riding with my sister once (I stress ONCE here). We were on our way to TDO (Taco De Oro for those of you not from 'round here.) She decided - while driving - that her nails looked "dumb" naked! (that's without nail polish guys, get your minds out of the gutter) So, ..... she pulls fingernail polish out of her center console and proceeds to paint her nails.

Now, imagine this - a 20 year old female driver, driving down the busiest street in town, during lunch rush, driving with her knee while applying fingernail polish.

Women know that putting on lipstick while driving can be a challenge, eyeliner can get scary if you hit the slightest bump (and rather dangerous all joking aside), foundation is a breeze, blush is a no-brainer as well as eye shadow BUT.... fingernail polish? Most women have a hard time doing that while sitting still!

But, my sister did it! Without making one single mistake! Not one spec of polish was on her skin. Each nail was perfectly painted.

Then came the comment that had me laughing for the rest of the day: "Dad hates it when I do this."

And to think, she's not even blonde :)

globalhostinggroup · #9 (**permalink**) 03-17-2005, 04:29 PM

humm... explains alout

hawkwind dave · #10 (**permalink**) 03-17-2005, 06:42 PM

Subject: Intellegence

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the
station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy
just one ticket.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of
the men.

"Watch and learn," answers one of the women.

They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all
three women cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after
the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He
knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on. The men see this happen and agree it
was quite a clever idea; so,after the game, they decide to do the same thing
on the return trip to save some money.

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip
but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at
all!!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed man.

"Watch and learn," answer the women.

When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and
the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet
and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. The woman knocks
on their door and says, "Ticket, please."

**jawn_tech** · #11 (**permalink**) 03-20-2005, 02:20 AM

I once was shaving with my electric rechargable shaver while driving, late for an appointment.

Got half my face done and it went dead.

flood6 · #12 (**permalink**) 03-20-2005, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jawn_tech

I once was shaving with my electric rechargable shaver while driving, late for an appointment.

Got half my face done and it went dead.

A real man would have finished the job with some gasoline and the electric cigarette lighter.

**jawn_tech** · #13 (**permalink**) 03-20-2005, 02:51 AM

Quote:

A real man would have finished the job with some gasoline and the electric cigarette lighter.

I thought of that as I was plucking the rest out with the pliers from the toolbox in my trunk. (just kidding)

MatW · #14 (**permalink**) 03-21-2005, 12:40 AM

I didn't know you can do all kinds of crazy stuff in your car :)

**ctabuk** · #15 (**permalink**) 03-21-2005, 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatW

I didn't know you can do all kinds of crazy stuff in your car :)

TRUE STORY.

Many years ago there was a Court Case in the UK where a wife was suing her Husband for infidelity, she claimed that she had seen her husband drive off in his 1965 Alfa Romeo Spyder and that friends had told her that he had picked up a blonde lady nearby and had been seen 'parked in woods' - In the Court case a representative of Alfa Romeo was asked if lovemaking in a 65 Spyder is possible, he replied that it would be extremely difficult, but the the Alpha Romeo Spyder was the most versatile car in the World'