View Single Post
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 01-07-2009, 10:37 PM
copywriter39 copywriter39 is offline
WebProWorld Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dubuque, IA
Posts: 59
copywriter39 RepRank 1
Default Re: Don't hold back please!

I thought the copy seemed awkward in spots. For example the phrase Day sailing aboard a large luxury yacht you’ll be proud to be seen on is easy to arrange and a joy to experience.
This seems to be almost cut off. In fact, the format almost has the sentences running together.