by the way,.. maybe you do have access to the htacces,.. could be your ftp program isn't showing it because it has no name before the extention. Mayb you can edit the file through the admin account of your hosting?

Make sure to look in the right place too. Wordpress may put the htaccess in its own folder while the htaccess of the whole site is in the root. Not sure on this but something to check.

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