So, a duck goes back in time to meet his grandfather. What do you get?

A Pair o' ducks.

- - -

A man gets home one night, and just before entering his room upstairs, hears his wife making love with someone.
He goes downstairs and phones his friend for support. His friend comes right over.
When his friend gets there, the man says "I will make some coffee for us"
His friend says, "But what about the guy screwing your wife???"

The man says, "Fu*k him, he can get his own coffee!"