David thanks for heeding my post earlier, but I really don't think I can top you and Jaan is the joke stakes.
I was reminiscing a good joke that I hadn't heard for ages recently.
2 Fish in a tank. one said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
or:
A woman, heavily pregnant with triplets was caught in the crossfire of a bank robbery and as a result, got shot 3 times in the stomach. She was rushed to hospital in the ambulance and the babies were delivered safe and well - 2 girls and a boy but there was no sign of any of the bullets.
So at the age of 5, one of the little girls came running up to her Mummy in floods of tears "Mummy, Mummy!" She sobbed "I just went to the toilet and when I finished there was a metal thing in the water" "Don't worry darling" said her Mummy and told her daughter what had happened to her.
5 years passed and this time, the other daughter came up to her Mum and shouted "Mum, I just went to the toilet and when I looked down there was a bullet in the water" Again the Mother reassured her daughter and told her what had happened.
So 5 years later she gets in from work and hears a loud noise from her son's bedroom. She rushes up and is greeted with the sight of her son sitting on his bed looking quite shocked and a bit pale. His trousers are round his ankles.
The Mother tried to be reassuring "Are you OK darling? Did you find a bullet in the toilet as well?"
"Not exactly Mum" said the boy. "I just had a w--k and shot the cat".