This is an all-too-common story in web development. I got most of my clients after they'd had bad deals like this.
You wouldn't put up with this in any other type of business and you shouldn't put up with it in web development either!
Most likely your "reputable" developer is either not very knowledgable or not very reputable or both. He may be unable to write the custom code you requested due to lack of know-how. Or, he may be too busy and since he'd long ago spent your money, he decided to toss up some freeware code to appease you.
The advantage of well-written custom code is that it will do exactly what you want with no bloat. A good developer should create an "admin" section where you can handle future product/services changes without further need of his services and without you having to learn anything.
You should start any development project with a written agreement. On all large projects, I setup a message board just for that project, so that communication can run smoothly and effectively - ensuring that the project conforms to the client's vision.
You may need to call an attorney ("solilcitor"?) - another field that has its share of sleaze. Good luck to you!
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