I like to use a third-party mailing house in part because of the concerns you've expressed. My two favorites are
VerticalResponse (no charge for list building, maintenance or storage; a small fee for each outgoing E-mail) or
Constant Contact (fixed monthly fee based on your list size; unlimited mailing at no additional charge). The cheapest service depends on your list size and mailing frequency.
Because of their internal anti-SPAM safeguards, I'd be surprised to see either of these services blacklisted as a SPAM source.
Both offer list building tools, templates (or the freedom to use your own format), delivery and click-thru statistics, and automatic list flagging of bounces and opt-outs. I also like the ability to schedule multiple E-mail campaigns in advance with precise control of the day, hour and minute each campaign's E-mails are dispatched.