You can never confirm that a link has or will be spidered by a specific robot unless you have access to that websites logs, so a tool wouldn't be effective here. You can try an crawl it with your own spider, but what's the differencet when you are only interested in seeing if one of the SE bots have followed it? Have you asked the website owner for confirmation of the crawling?
Just go to view the source of the page and see if the href link is viewable there without the nofollow attribute and you should be getting crawled, but asking the website owner for confirmation is possible to.
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